


Misnomer

by Demon_Hades



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, High School AU, M/M, Middle School AU, Pining, from middle school to high school, slight time skip, sort of, swim club au, they think its unrequited anyway????, they're both dorks, unrequited love????
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-07-14 10:55:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 29,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7168238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Demon_Hades/pseuds/Demon_Hades
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Misnomer:</b> <i>noun</i><br/>A wrong or inaccurate name or designation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting

No matter where he was there were always people; people talking and whispering gossip and dirty secrets, people spreading rumors about each other, and he absolutely loved it. There were rumors about him of course, but that didn’t concern him, other people were more interesting than himself. He loved people, not exactly talking with them as much as just watching from afar. He thought the name Orihara Izaya was rather fitting.

Even though he liked people, he wasn’t fond of spending personal time with them, he preferred to be on the outside looking in. Strangely, girls would develop crushes for him, other boys would say how cool he was, and as soon as it came to group assignments the other children would fight over which group got dibs on Izaya.

So, when the swimming club needed a new member Izaya was asked to join, so he said yes. He didn’t say yes because he particularly wanted to socialize, nor did he even like being in water all that much, what sealed the deal for him was the rumor about a unusually strong and fast swimmer with a notoriously explosive temper. 

He heard some girls refer to him as “Shizu-chan,” though he heard teachers talk about a troublesome student named Heiwajima Shizuo. A name, Izaya thought, rather unfitting for a kid with such anger issues. 

The first day Izaya went to the swim club the team was already practicing in the water by the time he got there. The man Izaya presumes to be the coach, Shiki, greets him kindly, and Izaya nods politely in return. The coach stops the other kids laps so Izaya can introduce himself. He stands on the side of the pool, looking down at the small group of swimmers as he does a short introduction. He recognizes one kid, the overly excitable Shinra, splashing and waving wildly at him. Izaya ignores him.

One kid, he notices, is sitting on the side of the pool fully clothed and with his legs dangling in the water, completely ignoring Izaya and the commotion surrounding said new club member. He then notices a clunky white cast on the kid’s forearm.

The coach nudges Izaya and tells him he should get in the pool to warm up a bit. Izaya looks down at the water, then frowns and shakes his head, “I’ll just watch the others from the side, see how it’s done.” The coach shrugs in response and turns his attention to the other kids. Introductions over, Izaya heads over to the brown haired kid on the edge of the pool, eyeing him with a smirk. A new play thing to bug and tease. He probably got that cast by doing something dumb or careless, like a lot of kids their age, he probably doesn't think before he acts. 

Such great fun these humans are~

The kid looks up as Izaya approaches him and instantly shoots him a warning glare and pulls his legs out of the water, hugging them close to his chest as he grumbles “go away.”

Izaya smirks wider and sits beside him, and the kid scoots away from him further. “Tsk tsk, is this how you great all your team members?” Izaya purrs “I assume you are part of the swim club, unless you’re just here to watch some shirtless boys get wet?”

The kid stiffens and blushes but ignores the comment, turning his head to avoid the red eyes of the raven haired boy beside him. “I don’t swim anymore,” he says, almost to quiet to be heard.

“Why not? Just because this little cast? It’ll heal you know.” 

“So what? I’ll just break my leg after, or my wrist, or something else, it’s always something.” The kid growls and clenches his fists.

Izaya hums in response, his interest peeking. He can see this kid’s face twisting in anger, his face reddening and his muscles tensing. Looks like he found the legend he was looking for. Shizuo Heiwajima. “You didn’t get your friends to sign your cast?” He asks in a subtle mocking tone.

“I don’t want anyone to sign it,” he snaps “and I said go away.“ 

Izaya’s lip curl up in a cruel grin, "maybe you just don’t have any friends to sign it, hm, Shizu-chan?” He puts emphasis on his name, assuming a kid like this probably wouldn’t like to be called such a cute nickname. But Izaya isn’t afraid of him, no matter what the rumors say.

Shizuo suddenly bolts up, “shut up you- ..you annoying flea!” He shouts, the coach looks their way, and Shizuo instantly shrinks like a shamed puppy under the intense gaze. He doesn’t back down from his opponent however.

Izaya just sighs bored, and takes his time standing up, then looks into the other’s eyes, “I’m not afraid of a brute like you. I’ve heard about you, who hasn’t? I’m just curious; why did they ever let a creature like you into the swim cl-” he doesn’t get the chance to finish his sentence. Before he can react, invasive water replaces the air in his lungs as the cold liquid curls it’s talons around him, pulling him down deep.

He can feel nothing, a blank emptiness of being suspended in space. He knows his limbs flail, trying to pull him to the surface, but he doesn’t feel the movement, can’t remember what it’s like to command his own body. Just as quickly as it happened, suddenly there’s air, and strong arms holding him, stealing him from the grasp of the cruel water. The coach. Shiki heaves Izaya’s limp body onto the side of the pool, and Izaya coughs up water. Yelling follows once it is confirmed that Izaya is alright, yelling his hazy brain can't calculate, Shiki's stern voice probably directed at Shizuo, who bows his head ashamed and slinks off away from the pool.

Izaya covers his mouth, trying to stay the rough coughs. He glares daggers into Shizuo's back as he exits the pool area, the doors clicking shut behind him. Shiki asks if Izaya is okay, and he nods. He is okay, he's better than okay. He has an enemy now, a new subject of interest. A new play thing to slowly break down and make suffer.

Shizuo may be strong and have an anger problem, but that is nothing compared to Izaya when he wants revenge.


	2. Warning

The weeks following the “incident” Shizuo has actively been avoiding Izaya, and the swim club

After classes Izaya will go to the pool, but Shizuo hasn’t shown up since that day. Instead of going to the club, Izaya has seen him head home after school with a younger kid with brown hair and a blank expression. Izaya assumes the kid is either a friend (unlikely) or a family member. 

Other than that, the only time Izaya sees Shizuo is in math class. Shizuo is quiet, he sits at the back and never speaks unless called upon, which is hardly ever. Izaya suspects the teacher is actually afraid of him too, which is why Shizuo is never asked to answer the questions. In group projects Shizuo is always the last to be picked by other kids, the teacher often has to put him with an unwilling group.

However, on one of these days with the dreaded group assignments, Izaya knows who he’s going to pick for a partner. For some reason, the other kids want Izaya in their group, but he sweetly replies “sorry, but I already have a partner,” as he sits in the seat beside Shizuo. 

Shizuo noticeably stiffens, and turns his head the other direction, avoiding looking at him. Izaya grins widely, noticing the once blank cast on Shizuo’s arm now has “heal soon nii-san” written in clean characters.

“So Shizu-chan has a brother huh?” Izaya chides, “I wonder if he’s a beast like you.”

Shizuo suddenly looks at him and snaps “don’t talk about him like that.”

Izaya snickers, “so protective of your brother Shizu-chan? Be careful, ‘love’ like that is awfully human, I don’t know if your system can handle that.” 

Shizuo frowns, still angry, but with a hint of confusion, “I’m not a ‘creature’ like you said before... I’m a human.” He says it in a way almost like he’s trying to convince himself more than Izaya.

“You _are_ a creature, a monster, a brute, but not a human. You can’t be classified as a human, see? I love humans, you’re not something that can be loved” Izaya says in a sickly sweet and soft tone. “The word ‘human’ doesn’t apply to something with strength such as yours. How could a human be strong enough to lift things like you supposedly can? With bursts of adrenaline in stressful situations people have been able to lift cars to save lives, but that in only in extreme circumstances, but apparently you can use strength like that with ease. Unless these rumours are fake, and you’re actually just some wimpy kid with anger issues, I haven’t seen this strength myself yet, you’ve only pushed me into a pool, and that was only because you caught me off guard. Next time, things will be different. I won’t be caught off guard again so easily.”

The bell rings signalling the class is over, and Izaya stands up, giving him a polite bow. “I have so much fun ideas planned for you Shizu-chan, I hope you look forward to it.”

Shizuo stays seated at his desk as Izaya leaves the classroom with a smile and his head held high.  
Oh yes, playing with Shizuo’s little mind will be such fun.

* * *

His next classes were boring. They always were. Izaya was smart, he always finishes his work before anyone else, he’ll often read ahead of the others or even read about the subject at home on his own time. 

His science class at the end of the day was always a pain, not because of the class itself or the material, but because of the classmates, specifically that one kid with glasses and an overly chirpy voice. Shinra.

“Shizuo said you’re his partner in math class?” Shinra says, hovering way too close for comfort. 

Izaya sighs and taps his pen annoyed, “I didn’t realise you were such close friends with him. I didn’t think he _had_ any friends.”

“Mostly just me and Kasuka, and I don’t think Shizuo even likes me that much,” he pouts, but then instantly cheers up again, “isn’t his strength fascinating?!”

Izaya shrugs, “I haven’t seen it myself yet.”

“Oh I guess you haven’t! When he breaks his bones there’s usually a break between his episodes. It’s quite amazing, his body keeps breaking down like that, but it’s repairing itself fast and faster each time, he’s even building up a resistance to injuries!”

“So he is a monster then,” Izaya smirks in reply. “No normal human could do what it’s said he can do.”

“I’d say he’s super human if anything!” Shinra exclaims excitedly, to which Izaya rolls his eyes. Shinra doesn’t seem to mind Izaya’s coldness, “you going to the club after school?”

He shrugs, “maybe. It’s no fun if Shizu-chan isn’t there to torment. I don’t like swimming.”

“What!” Shinra nearly yells, attracting the attention of the kids sitting near them. “Why’d you join the club then?”

“Because of the rumours about Shizu-chan,” he replies, starting to get a little impatient with Shinra’s constant chattering. “But I haven’t seen his strength yet, or his swimming ability.”

“He says he gets his cast off in a couple of days, so he should be back swimming soon.” Shinra says. “Oh! Wouldn’t it be fun if we had a club race when Shizuo got back? That way you could see how fast he is, you like competitions right? I could convince coach Shiki!” He grins widely.

Izaya looks at him with actual interest this time, “humiliate Shizuo in front of his team mates huh?” Shizuo embarrassed him in front of the swim club by pushing him in the water, this could be a chance to get back at him. 

Shinra laughs, and surprisingly, he sounds a little nervous. “You really think you can beat Shizuo?”

“Is he really that good?” Izaya asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Just wait until you see him! He’s incredible!” 

“You think everything is incredible though Shinra,” Izaya says, lightly smirking to himself as he turns his attention back to his paper. 

Truth be told, he really hated Shizuo, but he was still intrigued by him. He wanted to see what he was capable of, if he had to provoke him to get him angry enough to use his strength then so be it. That shouldn’t be too hard.

With another ring of the bell the school day ends, and Izaya and Shinra are both free to go to the pool. For the first time Izaya actually has a reason to practice and get better at swimming; a race. He knows there is a low chance of actually beating Shizuo, who is a real swimmer and has probably done this for years, but wouldn’t that make Izaya’s victory that much more sweet?


	3. Injuries

The next couple of days consisted of two things for Izaya.

Firstly, practicing swimming. Coach Shiki did end up agreeing to a friendly competition between the team members. Before this, Izaya would just hang around the shallow end of the pool, since he couldn't swim in the "styles" of the other members. Butterfly, backstroke, breaststroke, the front crawl? He didn't know how to do any of these moves, so he just stayed to the side and lazily swam laps back and forth by himself. Shinra lately has been helping him with the different strokes, saying he should start with the backstroke, and that his slim form would be best with front crawl. He also says Shizuo swims butterfly, because he's so strong, and butterfly requires strength and endurance. It is understandable why he'd specialise in that style. 

During the races the kids will compete against the others who are in their own styles, so, against Shinra's suggestions, Izaya has been practicing the butterfly stroke. It always leaves him exhausted, and every limb completely sore, but he is determined to be able to do it well enough face Shizuo in the race.

Secondly, Izaya days consist of bugging Shizuo in math class. Throughout their whole group project Izaya has been jabbing and teasing Shizuo, often saying things like, "Shizu-chan use the one brain cell you got already! That question is not that hard, a five-year-old could figure it out." On top of that, Izaya convinced the teacher to let him sit beside Shizuo permanently now, saying that the project made them closer and he'd like to sit by his new friend.

The next couple of days for Shizuo had been the stressful few days in Shizuo's life. 

What is _with_ this kid? He's like an annoying flea that stuck his pincers into his skin and just won't let go. 

Today was the day he gets his cast off however, so at least his constant suffering with _that_ will be over. After school his mother picked both him and Kasuka up from school and drove them to the clinic. 

Their mother was chattering away happily like usual, Kasuka sat quietly in the back seat, content listening to her, while Shizuo stared out the passenger seat. His mother seemed to notice Shizuo being unusually distant, and she gently nudges his arm to get his attention, "excited, my little hero?"

Shizuo snorts, but a small smile tugs at his lips. She could always cheer him up. "Don't call me that mom," he replies. Hero was a dumb nickname she came up for him to make him feel better about his strength. She compared him to super heroes from comic books or movies, who did great things and saved many people with their strength. He didn't like the nickname; "hero" didn't apply to him; he's never done anything good with his strength. 

"Yeah," he continues, "I'm glad I'm finally getting this dumb thing off."

"You should have gotten more friends to sign it," she says with a warm smile.

Shizuo looks away from that smile and mumbles, "maybe next time."

"Hopefully there won't be a next time huh?" She stops the car at the clinic, "just think though Shizuo, you can get back to swimming!"

Shizuo pauses a moment before getting out of the car, his mother and Kasuka file out as well. "...yeah, the swim club," he says, almost sadly.

His mother instantly picks up on the tone of his voice, "what's the matter sweetie? Is it that other kid you got into a fight with at the club?"

"Izaya," Kasuka fills in, and Shizuo shoots him a warning glance.

"Oh honey," their mom says, opening the door for her children. "You know if this kid is giving you problems you can talk to me or the teachers, we're here to help if someone is bullying you."

"He's not bullying me, I can handle myself," Shizuo says defensively. "He's just a pest."

"Even so Shizuo," his mother looks at him with firm reassurance, "we'll be here for you when you need us."

He searches her face and only sees genuine concern and love, and he can't help but smile at that. Even if he's a monster his family still loves him, at least he has that. 

"Thanks mom," he says, faint pink colouring his cheeks. 

They wait together until Shizuo's name is called, and they all go with the doctor into the little room. All together, there for support for Shizuo.

The doctor takes a while as he carefully removes the cast, and does a few quick check ups to make sure it healed okay, then smiles at Shizuo, "good as new."

Shizuo looks at his arm, and flexes his hand and wrist, testing out the stiff joints. "Thank you," he says, with a small bow of his head towards the doctor.

"Perhaps next time you will be more careful? I see you in here almost right after you heal again, maybe next time it'll be a bit longer in between 'accidents'" he says, in a tone suggesting it was Shizuo's fault. He wasn’t trying to hide the fact that he thought of Shizuo as a nuisance.

Shizuo's blood boils. "Sure," he says curtly and stands up off the sterilised table.

His mother extends a hand for him to take, and he hesitates, not wanting to seem childish, but he takes her hand anyway. She squeezes lightly, griping the smaller hand in her own as they all leave. "You two hungry?" She asks.

Shizuo shrugs. Kasuka answers plainly, "yes."

"Let's go for food then, we'll go to your favourite."

Only then does Shizuo perk up. His favourite restaurant means his favourite food, and his favourite milk shake! 

Maybe today wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

The next day, he honestly dreaded going to school. He tried to convince his mother that he was feeling ill, but she said he was probably just nervous about going back to the club after what happened.

Which was precisely right.

He was worried coach Shiki was still angry at him. But more than anything he was afraid to be in the water near Izaya. In fact, he dreaded math class with Izaya too, now that his cast off he was pretty sure Izaya would have some snarky comment about it. Izaya had an uncanny ability to find exactly what made Shizuo tick.

What he sees in math however surprises him.  
Izaya is sitting in his chair by the time he gets there, his posture radiates his annoyance and grumpiness, but what's really surprising is the multiple bandages on his cheek and hands.

Shizuo cautiously sits beside him, afraid if he startles him he might attack. "Someone finally beat your ass?" He asks, with a hint of actual interest. “Who caught Izaya Orihara ‘off guard’ now huh?"

"None of your business Shizu-chan," he says, putting up a facade and speaking in a pleasantly sweet voice. "I see you got your wonderful arm accessory off, does that mean you'll swim today? Oh! ~ maybe even show me your strength?" He smirks, almost challengingly.

Shizuo frowns, looking at him confused. He tilts his head, staring at the bandages, and Izaya stares back with a menacing glare. Wonder how bad the wounds are under those bandages...

"Take a picture, it'd last longer," Izaya hisses like a pissed off cat, "then you won't have to use your imagination at night either when you're pleasuring yo-"

"Who gave those to you," Shizuo interrupts him, and points a finger at Izaya's bandages on his cheek. His hand is promptly swiped away with a sharp snap of Izaya's. Yep, he's definitely like an annoyed cat.

"The yakuza. You see, I work with very dangerous people." Izaya says proudly.

“Ha ha, very funny Izaya,” he says, rolling his eyes. “Not that I really care, I was just going to thank whoever finally taught you a lesson."

Izaya glares, unamused. "Such a brute Shizu-chan." He then hums in a sing song voice, "I bet you would have liked to be the one who beat me huh?"

"So someone _did_ beat you up?" Shizuo says.

Izaya actually pauses. "That isn't what I said. Don't you think I can handle myself in a fight? I know my way around a knife Shizu-chan."

That's not sketchy at all.

"Whatever Izaya, I probably won't be swimming today, to answer your question."

"Why not?" Izaya actually pouts, seeming disappointed in his answer.

"Because coach Shiki is probably still angry at me, and I don't trust you anywhere near me in the water."

"Aw Shizu-chan, you wound me," Izaya hold a hand to his heart (or where his heart would be if he had one). "What could _I_ do to someone with your strength? Don't you want to train for the race though?"

Shizuo groans "that is actually happening? I didn't think Shinra was serious about that."

"Deadly serious," Izaya nods, "we might be racing Shizu-chan, do you really want to lose to me?" He grins like a Cheshire Cat.

Shizuo turns to him, frowning unimpressed. "What makes you think you could win? Shinra says you barely do anything at the club, can you even swim? Because last time you just floundered in the water before the coach saved your ass."

Izaya puffs up angrily, "I can swim! I do butterfly."

"Butterfly?" Shizuo says surprised, "why would you do butterfly?"

"Not telling," Izaya purrs, "maybe I'm a secret savant at it. Guess you'll just have to see at the race."

"You're doing butterfly just so you can race me?" He guessed.

"Oh Shizu-chan! You can use that single celled brain of yours! I'm so proud!" Izaya claps his hands together.

"You annoying little flea!" Shizuo growls, and stands up from his chair.

"Heiwajima!" The teacher hisses at the front of the room, "sit down."

Shizuo sinks down to his seat ashamed, and Izaya snickers beside him. 

Oh how he wished Izaya's wounds had been worse.


	4. Perfect

After the last class of the day both of them end up going to the swim club.

Shizuo was hesitant at first, but Kasuka managed to convince him he should go. He told him he should go back and swim with his friends, that it’d make him feel better. Shizuo didn’t want to go to see his “friends”, but he did end up going, only because Kasuka said it would be good for him. 

Izaya was already there talking to the coach by the time he got there. He snuck around them and into the change room, and then stops once he opens his duffle bag. 

He sort of regrets his swim suit choice now.

He looks down at his bathing suit and frowns to himself, Izaya is definitely going to make fun of it; it was a speedo after all.

He decides he can put up with it today, but he’ll have to ask his mother for a new one after. With much chagrin, he changes into his swim suit, and gets into the showers quickly, before heading out of the change room. 

Izaya doesn’t notice him yet, thankfully, but Shinra does. He yells his name from across the pool and runs over, but a glare from coach Shiki stops him from running; its dangerous.

Of course this whole thing catches Izaya’s attention, and he spots Shizuo, but then immediately freezes, light red seemingly painting his face. He can’t be blushing, can he? Izaya stares at him with such a strange look that makes him feel totally exposed and naked. In an attempt to cover himself more he holds his towel in front of his chest, only to be tackled by Shinra who nearly knocks him over. 

“Shizuo you came back!” Shinra yells, which seems to snap Izaya out of his trance and he looks away, continuing to talk with the coach.

“Y-yeah, I guess,” Shizuo says, trying to step away from him. He sets his towel by the benches then awkwardly crosses his arms over his chest, still feeling Izaya’s eyes on him. 

What the hell is wrong with Izaya? 

Both Shizuo and Izaya think this.

Izaya can’t stop staring at Shizuo. He’s trying his best not to, he’s talking to Shiki, he doesn’t want to seem rude. But by god, Shizuo is stunning. 

He’s skinny, too skinny for his apparent strength, he expected Shizuo’s clothes to be hiding grossly overproportioned muscles, but that’s not the case. Just a swimmer’s body, he assumes, he’s need to be aerodynamic. But even if he’s skinny, he still has muscles, god does he have muscles, the attractive amount of muscles, especially his abs and his arms. For someone their age Shizuo is well built, and...

_Stop it!_ Izaya mentally yells at himself, _don’t drool over him, he’s Shizuo! He’s the enemy!_

That speedo definitely doesn’t help his thoughts.

“Izaya?” Shiki asks, realising his thoughts are travelling elsewhere besides their conversation.

“Ah yes, Shiki-san, I’m sorry, Shinra and Shizuo distracted me. What were you saying?” He tries to keep his voice from awkwardly breaking. Tries, and fails. 

“If your wounds are that bad then I can’t allow you in the pool, it’d be unsanitary to the others.”

This snaps Izaya out of his daze, “but Shiki-san! I need to practice!”

“You’ve been doing very well lately Izaya, I’m proud of your improvement, but I’m afraid I still can’t allow it.” 

Izaya huffs, “they’re not that bad, did you want to see them?” If he can convince him they’re not too bad then he should allow him to swim, right? They’re just little cuts after all.

Shiki sighs, seeing as Izaya won’t let this go, “fine.” 

Izaya grins thankfully, then starts to carefully take the bandages off his arms and hands, revealing multiple long parallel scratches along his arms. Animal scratches. 

Shiki watches him with an attentive eye, seeing the worst of the scratches appear to be along his arms. “Something attacked you?”

Izaya pauses and looks at him, but then shrugs and struggles to get a grip on the bandage on his cheek to peel it off. “It was nothing, I’m fine, its just scratches. May I go into the pool? Chlorine helps heal wounds, does it not?”

Shiki carefully helps him with the bandage and examines it closely. It is just scratches, true, and he is right about the chlorine helping them heal, and they weren’t too terribly bad. He also knew Izaya would not just drop this and actually sit out for today, so with a sigh, he agrees to let Izaya swim.

Izaya beams he’s so excited. He bows his head, saying thank you a couple times, before heading to the edge of the pool. 

The other kids are already warming up when Izaya gets into the water. He holds his arms out of the water as he lowers himself in, cautious about his wounds, but he then slowly submerges his arms. No pain, that’s good. He puts his arms in fully, satisfied that the water didn’t hurt his wounds, then sinks down to his shoulders. He still doesn’t exactly _like_ swimming, but the water can feel nice. Sometimes.

He notices Shizuo close by, staring at him with a strange look on his face, and he frowns. “What?” How dare he ruin his little blissful moment.

“Your wounds… they’re tiny.” 

Izaya defensively puffs up, “you must get into a lot of fights if you can compare the size of my wounds to others.”

Shizuo frowns, actually a little hurt by that. He does actually. He does get into a lot of fights, and he hates it. He hates violence. “They’re tiny, you didn’t need those giant bandages on them, quit being a drama queen.”

Izaya puts on a show of sighing, “but they hurt so bad Shizu-chan! I don’t expect you to understand.”

“They’re from an animal attack… aren’t they?”

Izaya pauses, “ah… so perceptive of you Shizu-chan, good job!”

“I’m not an idiot like you think, Izaya. I actually would like to be a detec-“ he pauses, stopping himself. Why should he tell Izaya things about himself? He’ll just use it against him. He decides against it, and continues warming up instead, “never mind, Flea.”

“Aw, and just when I thought you were getting interesting,” Izaya giggles, teasing him. 

Shizuo just grunts in reply, and places his hands on the edge of the pool, then moves his feet up and pushes against the wall, propelling himself in the water. Izaya watches with an interested eye as Shizuo begins to do a front crawl. Shinra does the same, leaving Izaya by the edge, watching the others swim. Shinra was doing the front crawl as well, but Shizuo is way faster than him. When Shizuo gets to the other end he does the turn and kicks off the edge, his powerful legs sending him at least twice as far as any of the other kid’s kick offs. 

Maybe the rumours were true after all. He was incredibly strong.

When Shizuo makes it back to the edge Izaya is at he surfaces and looks at him with an expression Izaya has never seen on him. Pride. He was good at swimming, and he knew it. Shizuo smirks at him, and the small turn of his lips makes Izaya’s heart skip a beat.

The hell?

Shizuo pushes off the wall again, this time doing the butterfly stroke. Now Izaya understood why it was considered the most beautiful stroke; Shizuo’s form was perfect, he made it looks so easy, and graceful. 

This wasn’t right. A monster shouldn’t be this… gorgeous. A monster shouldn’t make him feel… _this,_ whatever _this_ was.

…

Damn.

Was he forming a _crush_ on _Shizuo_?


	5. Revenge

The next day Izaya avoids Shizuo. In fact, for the next week he avoids him. 

In math class he’ll taunt and bug Shizuo like the annoying flea he is, acting if nothing has changed, but at the swim club however, he’ll avoid Shizuo all together. He’ll still watch him from afar, and it’d be a little unsettling to have his gaze on him all the time, but Izaya will not talk to Shizuo if he doesn’t have to. 

For some reason, Shizuo found this more infuriating than when he constantly hovered around him. He sort of felt bad for Izaya. _Sort of_ , this was Izaya after all. What bothered him was he didn’t know why he was acting like this, but he knew he shouldn’t be, not someone like Izaya who was so full of himself. 

Izaya’s usual self only appeared again on the day of the race. His pride miraculously showed up again, especially when he was near Shizuo, he’d show off and talk loudly about how much progress he made and how fast in the water he was.

_Whatever, Izaya,_ Shizuo thought.

The races would begin with the back stroke swimmers going first, the breast stroke swimmers second, then the butterfly, and finally the ones who swim front crawl. 

Meaning Shizuo and Izaya have to wait until their race.

Izaya is sitting on the benches, watching the other swimmers. He has this bird-like stare that let the others know they were his prey, and that he was the predator. The only competition to Izaya’s throne of apex predator was Shizuo, because he was the only one who would challenge Izaya and not put up with his annoying charm.

Just to throw Izaya off of his high perch, Shizuo decides to sit next to him. “Why are you brooding so much lately Izaya?” He says, glancing at him from the side.

Izaya snorts and shakes his head, “brooding? I don’t know what you’re talking about Shizu-chan.”

“Don’t play this game Izaya, you’ve been avoiding me.”

Izaya doesn’t answer right away, seemingly calculating his next response. “You won’t have to deal with me for long now, Shizu-chan,” he turns to him, and the smirk he wears seems… somewhat sad. “It seems as though our days together are limited. I do hope you will miss me just as much as I’ll miss you,” he says it sarcastically, but he still seems a little hurt.

Shizuo slightly tilts his head, “you dying?”

“What?” Izaya looks at him but then bursts into laugher, rather loud laughter. “Of course not Shizu-chan, don’t be so dramatic.”

“Then what do you mean?” He asks, starting to get irritated again.

Izaya just winks and stands up, "looks like it's our turn to dance next." He walks over to the side of the pool where the other kids are, staying at a distance as he starts to stretch.

Shizuo grumbles to himself before following suit. He pads over the cold tiles and stands next to Shinra and begins to warm up as well.

He knows Izaya wants to beat him, because the first day they met he pushed him into the pool, and embarrassed him in front of the others. Izaya wants revenge, and he won't stop until he gets it.

So maybe he should give it to him? If Izaya gets his revenge, then he should finally leave him alone, right? Maybe that is what he meant when he said his wont be around for too much longer. He comes up with a plan then; let Izaya win this race in order to gain his life back. With the flea gone he probably won't be as stressed and angry. 

As the current race finishes, Shizuo puts his goggles on and stands on the edge of the pool. Izaya smugly stands beside him in the next lane, and looks at him with a proud smirk. 

"I've been studying your form Shizu-chan," Izaya says, putting his own goggles on, "I've noticed your dive is your weakest point."

Slightly surprised, Shizuo dumbly nods. It was true, his dive was he weakest point, because he'd end up going too deep, thus taking longer for him to surface, slowing him down. He made up for it in his strokes and his turn, but still.

"It's weird that you're so obsessed with me," Shizuo says, getting in the ready position.

Izaya just snickers and copies Shizuo's stance. 

They glance at each other as the coach counts down.

3.

This was Shizuo’s chance to get the flea off his back.

2.

This was Izaya’s chance for revenge.

1.

There’s a buzzer, and they all dive. 

Shizuo purposefully dives deeper than he should, almost making himself not come up for air in time. When he surfaces he manages to catch a glimpse of Izaya, who is slightly ahead of him, and he slows his pace down enough to let Izaya have a decent lead.

Izaya has improved quite a bit since he first got here. Revenge is apparently a good motivator.

As they come to the other end of the pool Izaya comes to an almost complete stop to do his turn, which throws Shizuo off. Usually Shizuo can do it properly and twist in the water and kick off, but because he wants Izaya to win he basically stops completely as well. Izaya kicks off the edge, and Shizuo follows, but as always Shizuo’s powerful legs send him out farther than he had intended. He flounders a seconds as he tries to slow down, almost to the speed of a doggy paddle, trying his best to let Izaya past him. 

The other swimmers in the race have already finished, that doesn’t matter though, all that matters is Izaya beating Shizuo.

And that is exactly what happens. 

It takes _forver_ but Izaya finally makes it to the edge of the pool again. He slaps his hand against the tiles and turns to look back, his face lighting up as he sees Shizuo finish after him. When Shizuo finishes, he tries to look disheartened about Izaya beating him.

“Shizu-chan I thought you were good at this!” Izaya exclaims, a huge grin making his face glow.

Shizuo just stares blankly at him for a moment. His smile was actually… beautiful. He’s never seen this smile, his genuine smile, usually Izaya wore a teasing smirk, or a fake pleasant smile whenever he wanted something. This was different though.

“Ah I see I have rendered Shizu-chan speechless with my victory,” Izaya giddily boast. Some of the other kids look back at them, and Shizuo can hear them mumble about him losing to the rookie.

He just nods, “yeah, you’re pretty good Izaya.” He knew he was just stroking Izaya’s already inflamed ego, but did that smile ever suit him. Why didn’t he smile like this more often? The other kids might like him if he did more often.

Izaya gets out of the water, and instantly starts to brag to Shinra. The other swimmers get ready for their race. Shizuo is left alone with his towel and his thoughts.

Seeing Izaya so happy strangely made him feel good. For some reason. He didn’t really understand it himself, but a part of him wanted Izaya to be happier. Earlier he seemed so sad about “only having a couple days left together,” and that statement worried him. What did Izaya mean by that? He couldn’t just ask him; he won’t get a straight answer from him.

The coach approaches Shizuo, “are you alright?” He asks.

Shizuo tilts his head confused, “yes, why?”

“Because you seemed to be struggling out there.”

“Oh!” Shizuo exclaims, “no, I… I just wanted to let Izaya win against me.” He adverts his gaze from his coach, a little ashamed. Did he let him down?

Shiki just nods thoughtfully, “that was very kind of you Heiwajima, especially since this will be one of Orihara’s last meetings with us.”

Shizuo perks up at this, “why? He’s leaving?”

The coach nods, “he’s moving away, he won’t be going to this school anymore.”

“What?!” Shizuo burst, and turns his attention to Izaya, who is still grinning proudly as he brags to Shinra. 

He’s moving away? That can’t be, why would he move away? He thought he liked it here, he always seemed like he was enjoying himself, or, well, enjoying screwing with people’s lives. He wanted Izaya to leave him alone, but not _leave._

It was weird, he hated Izaya, but he didn’t want him gone. 

He wanted to see him smile more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my chapters seem so much longer of word rip me


	6. Savior

Revenge. Finally, he had gotten his revenge.

So why…

Why did it feel so unsatisfying?

Shizuo didn’t seem that upset over losing to him, in fact, Izaya would catch glimpses of him looking over at him, and he would be softly smiling.

_Smiling_

Smiling?! What the hell! He should be in tears! He shouldn’t be smiling! Why was he smiling? And why did Izaya’s heart still flutter when he looked at that smile?

 _No stop it, none of that, remember?_ Izaya has to mentally scold himself, _he’s the enemy, make him crumble._

Fortunately for Izaya, Shizuo seems to be walking home today. Walking in the same direction as him.

Izaya can see Shizuo ahead of him, his bag swung around his shoulder as he walks blissfully unaware of the raven following him. It was strange, of all the times when Izaya has walked home, he’s never seen Shizuo walk this direction. His mother usually picked him up, didn’t she? Perhaps she was busy, or forgot about her monster of a son. Maybe she doesn’t want him anymore, so she just left him. Izaya snickers to himself at this thought, apparently too loud, as it attracts the attention of Shizuo.

He turns, and they lock eyes, neither of them saying anything.

Shizuo breaks the silence first, “are you following me?” He asks, narrowing his eyes as he holds the strap of his bag.

“You think you’re that special that I’m stalking you? Full of yourself much Shizu-chan?” Izaya smirks.

“Izaya,” Shizuo says.

The sternness in Shizuo’s voice as he says his name surprises him, “my home is this way Shizu-chan,” he says, for some reason feeling as though he should give him a straight answer. “This is the way I walk home… why are you going this way? Usually you get picked up don’t you?”

Shizuo nods, “Kasuka has a thing… something about acting, or something,” he shrugs, “its not too far from school so since they might be a while mom just said to walk over and meet them there.”

“Acting?” Izaya tilts his head interested. Was Shizuo’s brother one of those child actors or something? Maybe in a commercial? 

Shizuo shrugs, and turns around again, continuing to walk. This movement takes a moment to register in Izaya’s brain, but once it does he rushes to catch up to him, and starts to walk beside him.

“What are you doing?” Shizuo says, shooting him a glare, but not making any move to stop him.

“I’m walking home, what are you doing?” Izaya says pleasantly. 

Shizuo just grumbles, and they settle into an awkward silence as they walk, neither of them knowing what to say.

Distant barking of a dog makes Izaya jump startled, snapping him out of the calm silence, “Shizu-chan,” he squeaks, his voice uncharacteristically breaking. He coughs and tries again. “Shizu-chan, aren’t you upset that I won against you?”

Shizuo doesn’t answer for a while, thinking it over, “I made mistakes, that’s why you won.” 

Izaya looks at him sceptically, “making up excuses, huh?” Shizuo could have made mistakes, or Izaya could really be that good. Or there was a third option, perhaps…

“Did you let me win?”

Silence. 

Shizuo doesn’t answer, Izaya can practically see the gears turning in his head as he tries to think. 

“You did!” Izaya shouts, “you let me win against you!” He yells and pushes Shizuo’s shoulder, only making him move a couple inches, but making him drop his bag.

Shizuo turns and stares at him with a deathly glare, “what if I did?” He says, “I thought if you won maybe you’d finally leave me alone, because you got your ‘revenge’ or whatever.” He pauses, and adds a little softer, “you looked so happy when you won.”

Izaya stopped listening at that point, all he could hear was barking. Barking getting closer.

Damn.

He knew exactly which dog it was. It was the same one that always found him on his walk home.

“Izaya?” Shizuo says, trying to snap him out of it, but Izaya is completely frozen as he listens to the barking getting closer. He waves his hand in front of his face, but Izaya doesn’t even blink. “Hey? Hey, Flea,” he says, a bit louder, trying to get his attention, “snap out of it.”

The barking sounds like it is closer now, it echoes from the alley to the side of them, and Izaya finally looks at Shizuo, “we gotta go.” He grabs Shizuo’s hand, trying to lead him away from that hell hound, but Shizuo is planted like a tree and doesn’t budge. “What are you doing?!” Izaya yells, desperation evident in his voice, “come on!”

Shizuo pulls on his hand, refusing to go, “Izaya talk to me, what’s wrong with you?” 

Izaya’s eyes dart between Shizuo and the alley. It’s close, he knows it’s close, and it’ll attack him _and_ Shizuo without mercy. He should just leave Shizuo, he can probably defend himself against that dog better than he could, a monster fighting a monster. He knows he could leave Shizuo and save himself. 

But he can’t leave him.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were moving away?” Shizuo suddenly says, and Izaya looks at him surprised, momentarily forgetting about the threat heading their way.

“Why do you care?” He asks, no hint of malice in his voice, just curiosity. Why _would_ he care? No one cares about him, he’s alone.

“Because…” Shizuo hesitates, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck as he searches for words, “you aren’t that bad.”

Something in Izaya’s chest blooms, and he looks at Shizuo, really seeing him for the first time. Does he actually like him? Are they friends? Does-

He freezes.

Growling resonates from the alley. 

Shizuo tilts his head as he looks at Izaya, who’s eyes have opened wide with fear. “Izaya?” He turns, following his gaze to the alley. A giant dog is in the alley in a ready position, ready to pounce, glaring at Izaya as he growls, its ears back against its. Everything about its aura screams danger.

No one moves. 

He can see Izaya shaking, trembling with fear of this animal. The dog knows it; he knows Izaya is afraid. “Sh-Shizuo,” Izaya says with a small voice.

 _Shizuo?_ He said Shizuo didn’t he? Not Shizu-chan?

“Run,” Izaya says, and glances at him from the side, too afraid to move more than that. “Please just run,” he’s whispering, “go.”

He’s never seen Izaya _afraid_ before, he’s always confident in himself and knows he could command others to do what he wants. But right now he’s shaking with fear, and then suddenly, it all makes sense to him. 

This dog has attacked him before, that’s why he had scratches on his face and arms.

“Shizuo run!” Izaya says more sternly this time, his voice making the dog bark at him and Izaya flinches. He shuts his eyes and curls in on himself to try to protect his limbs. The sudden movement urges the dog to pounce at him, running blindingly fast with teeth bared.

Izaya expects fangs and claws drawing blood, he expects to be forced to the ground with a heavy animal on his chest, drooling and growling as it feeds on his flesh. He expects the dog to attack him again.

None of that happens though. 

Growling. He can hear the growling still, so the dog isn’t gone. But he isn’t injured this time? He cautiously opens his eyes, and quickly scans the scene, but he freezes and his eyes widen. “Shizuo?!” He yells startled.

The dog has its teeth clamped around Shizuo’s forearm. Shizuo is standing in front of Izaya. He jumped in between him and the dog. He protected him. He saved Izaya.

Shizuo has his arm out in front of him, the dog wiggles its head, trying to rip flesh and dig its teeth in further. Shizuo just grunts slightly, moving his arm to closer to him, then suddenly he whips his arm around with enough force to send the dog flying back into the alley and into a pile of garbage. 

Shizuo turns to Izaya then, “get out of here, idiot!” He yells, but Izaya doesn’t hear him. There’s blood. Blood rolling down Shizuo’s arm. Because he saved him? Why would he do that? “Izaya!” Shizuo yells again, but he can’t move, his feet are lead, he’s frozen. 

Izaya jumps startled as he hears growling coming from the alley, this time louder, angrier. The dog is pissed now. Izaya looks at Shizuo, he seems determined, maybe a little angry himself, but not afraid. 

There it is again, that feeling in his chest. What is that?

The dog runs out of the alley again, this time charging at Shizuo, but Shizuo is faster, and grabs a street sign. A street sign? Izaya is confused for a second, but in another second Shizuo rips the sign out of the cement, and lifts it up, wielding it as easily as a batter wielding a bat.

This is it. 

This was Shizuo’s strength, finally he has witnessed it, and it was like everyone said. This heavy metal pole was picked up and lifted as if it was a stick. He truly was strong. He was amazing.

Izaya watches him with awe. The dog watches him too, and whimpers, seeing the human with a large weapon, and turns, running in the opposite direction from Shizuo. 

Shizuo the monster.

Shizuo the hero.

Izaya wasn’t sure which title fit him better now. 

With a clatter the street sign is dropped, and Shizuo cradles his arm in his other hand. Not the bloody one, but the arm that wielded the pole. “Are you okay?” He asks, approaching Izaya, who looks at him with wide eyes.

“Shizuo…” he whispers, still in awe, “your strength…” 

Shizuo blinks and then looks away from him, seemingly ashamed, “yeah… I know, I’m-“

“You saved me,” Izaya interrupts him, and quickly stands up, brushing off the dust from his clothes, “you saved me!” He repeats, looking at Shizuo with a manic grin. “That dog chases me a lot when I walk home, he’s attacked me before, but you chased him off!” The blood on Shizuo’s arm catches his eye and he gasps, “you’re injured.”

“It’s nothing,” Shizuo says, then frowns, “I think I sprained my other arm though. This always happens when I use my strength, I always hurt myself.”

Is that why he had a cast? Using his strength like that injured himself?

“How is it nothing?!” Izaya exclaims, “you saved me, the dog bit your arm! You’re bleeding.” 

Shizuo just snorts in reply, “I’ve had worse Izaya, let’s just get out of here and I’ll get it looked at.” 

Izaya is speechless for a moment, but eventually he nods. Shizuo picks up his bag that he had dropped before, lifting it with the hand that isn’t sprained. He looks back at Izaya, making sure he’s following him before starting to walk again. 

Why is Shizuo protecting him like some precious baby bird? Why would Shizuo have protected him at all?

 _You aren’t that bad._ Shizuo had said that, right? He wasn’t just imaging that? He had been more focused on the barking at that point, but he could have sworn he heard Shizuo say that. Did that mean he actually liked him? After this whole incident, could Izaya call Shizuo a friend?

Those fluttering feelings he keeps experiencing every time he sees Shizuo smile or laugh, that means he likes Shizuo right? Just as a friend, or… lately he’s been feeling as though it’s a bit more than “like.”

More like _Like_ Like.™

Is it possible he actually _Likes_ Shizuo?

He couldn’t, he is an enemy. Or was he? He just saved him right? He can’t really call him that anymore.

_A crush._

Was it possible Izaya had, at some point, _maybe_ have developed a crush for Shizuo?

And if he actually did have a crush… why did it have to happen now, right when he was supposed to move away?


	7. Gone

Unfortunately, Shizuo’s stop was first.

Blood was still dripping off his arm when he suddenly stopped and said his destination was down another street. Izaya refused to let him go, he told him to come home with him so he could at least clean the wound and bandage it. Shizuo just told him that his mother always kept bandages with her in her purse, just in case. Living with how Shizuo is, she has learned to come prepared. Seeing no way to convince the stubborn Shizuo otherwise, he reluctantly let him go.

Shizuo promised he was alright, and then there was that damned smile again. That smile that made his heart do weird things he didn’t exactly like. Well, okay, maybe he did like this feeling, but he still hated that he felt it. It was such a human thing, to feel so flustered about someone.

He hasn’t even addressed the fact that Shizuo was another guy. Not that that should really matter. It was really the fact that Shizuo was another boy, but the fact that it was _Shizuo/_

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Shizuo suddenly says, snapped Izaya out of his thoughts.

His heart plummets then. “Shizu-chan…” he starts, but trails off.

He’s moving tomorrow.

He convinced his mother to let him stay for the swim club race, but after that they’re leaving. He’s leaving tomorrow, this is the last day with Shizuo. But he can’t bring himself to tell him that, it’d ruin Shizuo’s perfect smile, the one he rarely shows to anyone. “Yeah,” he says instead, his voice quiet and without its usual confident tone, “I’ll see you tomorrow Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo smile falters a second, knowing something is wrong with the way Izaya speaks, but he covers it quickly. Izaya notices however, how could he not?

Shizuo hesitates a moment before turning to walk away, still holding his sprained hand, the hand he injured to save him.

Shizuo the monster. Shizuo the hero.

Shizuo the friend.

Could he call Shizuo a friend? What classified someone as a friend? Someone you enjoyed spending time with? Someone who made you happy? Someone who you would miss when you’re apart? Watching Shizuo’s back slowly get further and further away from him, he knew that he would miss him.

Would Shizuo miss him back? Or would he just be glad he’s out of his life?

All this was in his head as he watched Shizuo walk down the street, without him. No, he didn’t want Shizuo to leave yet. He didn’t want to move, he never did, they only were moving because they needed a bigger house for his twin kid sisters. But their house was good enough he thought, it was their home, they don’t need to leave. He didn’t want to.

He didn’t realise at first, his brain didn’t register his legs running, but as he caught up to Shizuo he stopped, out of breath.

“Izaya?” Shizuo asks, turning to him as he heard someone approaching, “what are y-“

“Shizuo,” Izaya sternly interrupts him. He didn’t use his nickname, he wants him to know he’s serious, he wants him to listen to him. “I’m moving away, tomorrow, but I don’t want to,” he pauses, a little embarrassed, before adding, “I don’t want to leave you.”

Shizuo blinks, seemingly surprised by this confession. _Oh god,_ Izaya thinks, _he doesn’t feel the same way._

“I’ll miss you,” Izaya adds, just digging himself a deeper hole. “Please, even if you won’t miss me back, just… don’t forget me, I’ll be back,” he’s not sure if this is a good thing, or a nightmare for Shizuo. Does he even want him to return? He’s probably glad he’s leaving.

He watches Shizuo’s face, trying to figure out his expressions. Usually he’s good at reading people, but he can’t read the feelings of the person in front of him. Why is this so hard?

“Promise?” Shizuo whispers, turning his head to not look at Izaya anymore.

He almost doesn’t catch what he says, “what?” 

“Promise you’ll be back?” Shizuo faces at him now, slowly, a fake smirk forms on his lips, “if you’re such an annoying flea you wouldn’t be that easy to get rid of, right? You’ll be back eventually,” he says, trying to hide the genuine softness of his voice and the plea of the request under an insult.

“Yeah,” Izaya can’t help but grin widely, and his eyes definitely aren’t getting cloudy with faint wetness, nope. “I’ll be back to pester you again; you can count on it.”

There’s an awkward silence as they both stare at each other, trying to engrave the image of the other in their memory. Izaya is the first to move, “take care of yourself Shizu-chan,” he says, only stepping away because if he stays it’ll take longer for Shizuo to get his arms treated and bandaged. He turns away from him, hanging his head, taking a couple steps before pausing and shyly adding, “thank you, for saving me.” He starts to walk away then, not wanting to see Shizuo’s stupid face anymore. He keeps telling himself he won’t miss that face, he tells himself that all the way home, but even during the journey to his house, he misses him.

Shizuo won’t admit it either, but he will miss Izaya.

He watches Izaya until he disappears behind a building, out of sight. He turns away finally, starting his lonely walk. 

Like he had said, his mother did have bandages in her purse, not exactly big enough ones to cover the wound completely, but she did her best. When Shizuo enters the building he sees his mother in the waiting room, and when she notices him she instantly gets up to treat him. She hovers over him as she cleans the wound with wet naps she had in her purse, which honestly stung a lot, but it helped. She wouldn’t stop squawking and asking him what happened, so he told her.

He had saved his friend from a dog, he accidentally used his strength, his arm might be sprained again. 

He hadn’t hesitated when he called Izaya a friend. He told himself that it was just easier to tell his mother that than saying the kid that tormented him for so long, it wasn’t actually because he liked Izaya that he called him a friend. He didn’t save him because they were friends, he didn’t save him because he had a _crush_ on him or anything, it was just the right thing to do. 

Or that’s what he kept trying to convince himself of anyway.

His mother manages to help stop the bleeding, and they both sit again while they wait for Kasuka to be finished. Shizuo carefully holds his sprained wrist as his mother bombards him questions; who did he save? How was the swim meet? Did that boy bully him again? Was he sure he was okay? Shizuo just nods and answers her questions simply, his mind distracted with other things than his overly worried mother.

Once Kasuka was finished her attention was turned to him, asking him questions about the interview and if he got to play a part in the commercial, or whatever it was that they were there for, Shizuo started to tune everything out. The shock was starting to ware off, his arm was starting to throb painfully, his mother noticed of course, and suggested to take him to the hospital, but he refused. They should be celebrating Kasuka, not worrying over Shizuo. Again.

They drove home, Shizuo and Kasuka were both quiet, his mother kept asking questions, trying to get one of them to speak, eventually just giving up, and starting to tell stories about her day instead, just to fill the silence. Once they got home she immediately got the supplies to clean Shizuo’s wound properly, putting a big pad bandage over the bite mark, then wrapping his other arm in a tensor bandage, and giving him a bag of frozen peas to hold on the sprain. She’s become an old pro at this by now. 

“This helping honey?” She asks him, once he was holding the peas against him arm. 

He nods, “yeah,” it was actually making it feel better.

“Hey, Shizuo,” she says, crouching down to his level, “you can talk to me you know? If anything is every bothering you, I’m here, always.”

He looks up at her, and gives her a small smile, “thanks mom.” He really does appreciate her; she sacrifices to much for him. She always makes him feel better, she always comes and talks to the teachers when he gets in fights, she always helps his wounds heal. She does so much, and he knows he doesn’t deserve all her love, he’s just a problem for her.

Tears start to form in his eyes, and she instantly starts to coo him, pushing the hair off his face and then brushing her hand against his cheek. It’s been a long day for him, and everything is finally catching up.

“Aw, sweetheart,” his mother whispers, “I’m proud of you,” she wraps him in a warm hug, holding him close, “you saved a friend right? You put yourself in harm’s way to save them, and you used your strength for good, I’m so proud of you, my little super hero.”

“Mom,” Shizuo squeaks, and buries his face in her shirt, inhaling her calming scent as he soaks her shirt in tears. He stays like that a while, wrapped in his mother’s tender embrace, until his weeping dies out to small sniffles, “c-can we get ice cream?” 

She laughs softly, and ruffles his hair before he pulls away to look up at her hopefully, “of course we can dear, you and Kasuka both deserve a treat.”

* * *

School was quiet now with the flea gone.

There was no one to bug him during math class, no one to hover over his shoulder while he did his assignments, no one chirping “that’s wrong,” every time he wrote down a number, no one calling him a “dumb protozoan,” whatever that was. No one to mock him while he stretches at the pool, no one to threaten to whip him with a towel in the change room.

He should celebrate that the brat was no longer here, his life could get back to the quiet peaceful existence that he was familiar with. He should be relieved, happy that he was gone.

So why didn’t he feel that way?

He wasn’t at peace; things were surprisingly _too_ quiet. Even though Izaya was gone he seemed to be annoying him still. He was in his head even _more_ than before, constantly in his thoughts, and he hated it. Why did have to occupy his mind, and not the seat next to him in math class? Why didn’t he come swim in the lane beside him? Why wasn’t Izaya here to tease and annoy him?

He wasn’t there though. He wasn’t in math class, he didn’t come to the swim club anymore, he wasn’t at that school, for all he knew he wasn’t in town anymore.

He was gone.

The next day after the incident with the dog attacking them, Izaya was gone. The days following that, still no sign of him. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was in denial, he kept expecting to encounter Izaya at the pool, already in his swim trunks and stretching with Shinra, like always. He would catch glimpses of his raven hair in the hallway, his back always turning a corner so he loses him by the time he chases after him.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, but Izaya never showed up.

He was just gone.

Why did he have to miss that dumb flea?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, for everything.  
> 1) I gave myself feels with this chapter  
> 2) I'm sorry it took so long, I've been so busy with work and getting ready for a con that I don't get to sit down often. I'm trying to update this regularly, but if you want to yell at me about updating you can on my tumblr  
> 3) IM SO HAPPY PEOPLE ARE ENJOYING THIS! This is my first time actually writing a fanfic with chapters and I'm so glad people are enjoying it. It's funny to see how much I've improved from the first chapter to this.  
> 4) honestly, thank you to everyone, I love you all


	8. Forget

There were days were Izaya was the only thing on his mind, but other days he forgot about him.

The first couple weeks he couldn’t forget; his mind was constantly occupied by thoughts of the flea. He thought things would return to normal after he lef, but ever since Izaya came into his life, then suddenly disappeared, things have gotten… worse.

He got into fights before, but now everyone and everything irritates him, even if they didn’t mean to piss him off he still ends up throwing a desk or garbage bin at them. His mother would get called in a lot, “her son got into a fight, _again,_ ” and he could tell she was getting tired of it, though she would never admit it. Truthfully, she was worried about him, he grew quieter and more closed off from other students, he came home with new bruises and cuts every day. The constant strain on his muscles from using his strength left him sore and moody from the pain, causing even more problems with him at school and the swim club.

This went on for a while, and as the months went on, nothing really changed; Shizuo stayed grumpy and angry, Izaya stayed wherever he was, he didn’t come back. He never got Izaya’s email, or phone, or address, nothing, he lost track of him, he never saw him. 

So he moved on with his life, and he forgot.

It was only natural, so much time has passed since then and now, months turned into years, and Shizuo started going to high school. He met new people, started new classes, went into the high school’s swim team. He simply moved on.

That said, he didn’t _completely_ forget. There were times when he would suddenly remember Izaya, just random things would remind him of that flea; stranger who happened to have similar hairstyles, that certain red colour that was his eyes, and of course angry dogs. It was easy to tell when he remembered, he’d grow silent and moody for days, getting so grumpy that he would sometimes beat up thugs from the street just to blow off steam. 

People became more afraid of him as time passed. He became angrier, used his strength more often, it didn’t hurt his body anymore, in fact, his body broke down and rebuilt itself over so many times that he built up a high pain tolerance now, so he wasn’t afraid to get into fights anymore.

Because of this, people started to avoid him all together, and he avoided them. He was afraid of people getting close to him and getting hurt, he didn’t even trust himself. He was a monster, after all.

So high school wasn’t his favourite thing in the world.

Already he was on his last year of high school, and the only thing that made everything worth it was getting to swim. He had learned to grow rather fond of it, more than he had in middle school, it had sort of become a stress reliever for him. The feeling of the water curling around his body was surprisingly soothing, he started to look forward to getting to practice after classes. 

Shinra, unfortunately, ended up going to the same high school as him, and of course the little bugger joined the swim team too. He was into weird science and medical stuff now, more than he used to be, he always begged Shizuo to let him “dissect” him, because his body and his strength was “scientifically amazing.” It was weird, but Shinra was his friend, sort of, if he could call him that. He was one of the few who were not afraid of him.

That being the case, Shinra wasn’t easily scared off when Shizuo threatened him to leave him alone when he’s in a bad mood.

“What are you doing after graduation Shizuo?” 

Shizuo just snorts, taking his shirt off as they change for swim practice in the locker room. “You always ask me this Shinra, I never have an answer.”

“You could do something that involves your strength!” Shinra says excitably, but Shizuo is already starting to tune him out. “Like a police officer, or fire fighter! I bet you could get lots of money just doing medical experiments too, lots of scientists would be thrilled to study you, myself included! Ah, hey! Shizuo! Are you even listening to me?”

“Nope,” he says, trying to get his privacy as he changes into his swim trunks. 

“I was talking to Izaya the other day, he sounds like he might be getting into some shady stuff, which is not surprising for him.”

Shizuo pauses, and whips around to look at him, “you were talking to Izaya?”

Shinra shrugs, “not directly, through email, we message each other some times. Hadn’t heard from him in a while to be honest, until a couple days ago. He asked about you too, actually.”

“He did?!” Shizuo blurts out, “Shinra why did you never tell me you kept in touch with him?!”

Shinra holds his hands up innocently, “I didn’t think you cared! I thought you hated him.”

Shizuo pauses, then takes a moment and collects himself, trying to coolly play it off, “I do hate him, I just want to see him so I can bash his head in.”

“He said he might be coming back soon,” Shinra nonchalantly says it, as if it was every day news, but Shizuo can feel his heart clench and freeze. Izaya might be coming back? Back here? He might get to see _Izaya_ again.

“When?” He asks, sounding more excited than he should be, he doesn’t care though.

Shinra shrugs, “don’t know, he didn’t exactly say.”

“Oh,” a little disheartened, Shizuo continues to change. This swim practice will probably not go so well, he’s distracted now. Damn, that stupid flea always has to ruin everything for him, even when he’s not here. 

He was coming back though? Coming back for good, or just a couple weeks? Months? Just to visit for the day? “Coming back” was vague, he didn’t even know _when_ he was going to come. Would they even recognise each other now? They’ve both changed, especially Shizuo, he died his hair blond now, he was taller, people said he was well built, though he thought he was too skinny. Would Izaya notice? Wonder what Izaya looks like now?

_I bet he’s really hot now._

…

_Damn. Don’t think about him being attractive! It’s Izaya!_

Right, it was Izaya, he was supposed to hate him, supposed to be angry he’s coming back. This was his town, the flea shouldn’t be in it, he shouldn’t be _excited_ Izaya was coming back. They’re enemies, this should be war.

Why were there butterflies in his stomach then?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies~ I'm back, and will try to update more regularly from now on.  
> Sorry for the somewhat short chapter, I hope you don't mind a little time skip, but older dorks mean thirstier dorks right? ;P


	9. Contact

Its been a couple weeks

_A. Couple. Weeks._

And still no Izaya.

He can’t take this anymore!

Irritation wins over Shizuo, and another desk loses to his strength. The principal’s office _again,_ fifth time in three weeks. 

Was this part of his plan? Say he’s coming back, just to get Shizuo’s hopes up, then just not show up at all?! Of course, this is why they were enemies; Izaya liked to screw with him. Of course this was all just a joke, it wasn’t real, he was never coming back. Why was he so excited to see this annoying flea in the first place? They weren’t friends, they argued whenever they saw each other, that’s how things were supposed to go.

Why was he so disappointed then? Every night once he got home he’d be so upset that Izaya didn’t appear that day.

It was frustrating on so many levels.

Izaya himself was frustrating, not coming to visit like he said, but it was also frustrating that he was so disappointed that he wasn’t here. He shouldn’t be feeling like this over _Izaya_ but he couldn’t help himself!

He needed to see him.

He had enough patients for exactly three weeks before he corners Shinra in the locker room. “Give me Izaya’s email,” he demands, “I need to talk to him.”

Being trapped by Shizuo was never a good thing, so Shinra agrees to cough up the email address, nervously writing it down on a scrap of paper he manages o find in his bag. “Don’t tell him I gave it to you,” he pleads.

“Who the hell else would tell me? He’ll know its you anyway.” He anxiously watches Shinra’s hand scrawl out the address. He has awful writing, definitely fit for a doctor, though he might just be nervous around Shizuo, since he has been especially grumpy the past few weeks.

“He’s going to blame me.” Shinra practically whines, but Shizuo doesn’t care anymore, he got what he wanted from him. He greedily snatches the paper from his friend’s hand, holding it out like it’s a trophy he won, a huge grin on his face.

“Shizuo?” Shinra eyes him curiously; when was the last time he actually saw him smile? “You actually miss Izaya, don’t you?”

Shizuo looks at him with wide eyes, “no w-ay!” He says, though the awkward crack in his voice gives him away. “Why would I miss that flea?”

Right, he hated Izaya. He swears he didn’t miss him, nope.

…

Dammit. He was going to be distracted during practice again.

* * *

After a seemingly very long and admittedly awful practice, Shizuo quickly went straight home.

He greeted his mother, answering her usual questions about how his day went, then went straight up to his room. He had a laptop, but it was old and he didn’t use it much, he only had it for school, and it was just an hand-me-down from his mother when she bought a new laptop. That didn’t matter though, what mattered was his email account that he never used with the empty inbox.

Sitting at his desk, he opens the laptop and eagerly starts up the internet and his email. He types in Izaya’s address, his fingers shaking, but once the name is in, he pauses, staring at a blank text box.

What should he even write?

He stares at the mind numbing white space for a while, but his brain comes up with nothing.

Just start with the basics; who was emailing him, then move on from there. How has Izaya been? What has he been up to? Where did he move to, and did he like it there? Was he actually coming back? Dammit, come back, please.

Nope, delete that.

Okay, just, start simple. 

_[Hey Izaya, this is Shizuo, from middle school._  
It’s been a while huh? Shinra said something a couple weeks ago about you coming for a visit? I was just wanting to know if you were actually planning to come out. Or maybe you came here already and I missed you? I mean, I don’t miss miss you.  
Whatever, you probably don’t care but maybe let’s get together, catch up a bit? Not together together, but you know what I mean.  
You should see my strength now, maybe we can have a good old fashioned fight?  
I want to see you and hopefully knock your lights out.  
Maybe soon?] 

God he sounded like an ass, and it was super awkward, but whatever. Before he could second guess himself he presses send. There, done, no going back now. Now all he had to do was wait for a reply, and who knew how long that would take.

Every day he would come home and run upstairs to his room, opening his laptop and checking his emails. Nothing. His inbox remained empty for a couple days. It was almost another week before he got a reply, but it was short. That didn’t stop his heart from flying a million miles a second when he saw his inbox with a new email.

He nearly screeched with excitement, but he held it back.

_[Shizu-chan, of course, how could I forget you~  
Don’t worry, this isn’t a link to some site with a computer virus, but it would be easier for us to talk if you made an account. My username is Kanra.]_

Attached to the email was some weird link Shizuo didn’t recognise. He squints and tilts his head confused, as if looking at the link another angle would show its true identity. 

Screw it, he decided to click the link, and he was brought so some dark themed site, something named The Dollars or something. It had a chat room, which he guessed is what Izaya was referring to.

Shizuo always hated making accounts to things, he never used his computer enough to warrant users or anything. But this time was special, so he just followed along with Izaya’s plan. What should his username be though? Did it really matter that much if he was only going to use this to talk to Izaya? Should he just use his name? No, this site seemed kinda shady, better not use his real name. Izaya’s nickname for him maybe? Or something more fitting? Something his own?

It takes a while, but Shizuo eventually finds what he’s looking for. He thinks. This site is difficult to navigate, and after a while trying to figure out how to make an account and then trying to find Izaya, he finally sends him chat request, or whatever, he found Izaya and was talking to him, hopefully. 

**-Kanra has entered the chat-**  
**-BukuroBeast has entered the chat-**

He waits a while, seeing if Izaya or maybe anyone else will say anything about this newcomer. Was this even Izaya? Ugh, he regrets his username now, its so ridiculous. Whatever, he tentatively writes out a message.

>> Izaya?

There’s a long silence. Shizuo’s stomach does flips as he chews on his thumb nervously. This was a bad idea, Izaya was probably messing with him again.

**> > Nice username Shizu-chan, it’s rather fitting.**

Shizuo nearly jumps out of his chair. It was Izaya, _actually Izaya,_ the annoying flea. His Izaya.

>> its actually you!  
>> no that im excited or anything

**> > Who were you expecting Shizu-chan?~ Shinra perhaps?**

>> no its just… i havent heard from you in so long 

**> > Were you excited to talk to little ol’ me Shizu-chan?~  
>> Though I suppose we haven’t spoken in some time. I thought you would have enjoyed the silence and distance between us. **

>> fleas arent that easy to get rid of remember

**> > I guess I did promise I would come back to pester you, maybe I could teach you how to type on a computer correctly as well, or is it too difficult for your protozoan mind to comprehend? **

>> die you flea

He couldn’t help contain the grin forming on his lips. He was willing to admit that he was happy, for the first time in so long he was actually smile, and he knew it was from Izaya and he really didn’t care enough to pretend other wise.

>> are you actually coming here?

**> > Why? Did you miss me Shizu-chan? **

>> you promised you would

**> > I suppose I did, huh?**

Swallowing his pride, Shizuo wrote out a response, but then deletes it. Was it too much? No, he shakes his head as he types it again, but the hesitates and erases it again. He does this a couple times, mentally debating with himself rather he should or not. In the end he groans and shuts his eyes as he presses send before he can stop himself again.

>> I missed you

Three simple words shouldn’t be that big an issue, but it was important. Those three words had so much meaning. He hated how the flea made him feel like this.

Izaya doesn’t reply right away, in fact Shizuo thinks he scared him off with his confession, but the chat boops with an obnoxious sound which suddenly becomes the best sound in the world.

**> > Me too.**

That was it, no more running around the issue, no more pretending. At some point or another, Shizuo had developed a crush on Izaya, and he had feelings towards him, the way his heart soared when he saw Izaya’s response was proof enough. He didn’t hate Izaya, he hated that he was gone, he wanted him back.

>> when will you come back?

_Please, I want to see you._

**> > Now, now, I wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise Shizu-chan.**

>> dont screw with me Izaya

**> > So pushy Shizu-chan, so mean!  
>> It’s hard to say, however. I’m actually not sure.**

>> hopefully soon

**> > Hopefully soon.**

He couldn’t take this anymore, why did Izaya have to do this to him? Make him feel his way? Did he feel he same? Wonder if Izaya had… “feelings” towards him as well. He doubted it, but… what would happen between them if he did? Would they become friends? Maybe something more?

>> im looking forward to it

To whatever “it” was, he was looking forward to it. Looking forward to seeing him, talking to him in person again. 

Hopefully soon, Izaya, hopefully soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter so soon after the last one? Why you ask? Simple; I stayed up until 3am because its hard to settle down after working evenings. The last chapter was sort of a short filler chapter, so have some sleepily written feels to make up for it yay


	10. Beast

He and Izaya spoke frequently on that site, whenever Shizuo got home from swim practice he’d immediately open his computer to message Izaya. Their conversations were somewhat short and awkward at first, but as they started talking more often they started to message each other like old friends. They could be friends now, if they really wanted to label it, but neither of them did, neither wanted to admit their feelings.

Needless to say, Shizuo’s mood improved from that day on.

His mother noticed of course, and she would pester and tease him about taking an interest in some girl or something, but he always blushed and stuttered, saying he wasn’t dating some girl. Technically, he wasn’t lying, it wasn’t some girl that made him so happy lately, it was another guy. It was Izaya.

Not that they were dating! No! That’d be weird. Shizuo totally didn’t think about holding his hand or anything, maybe brushing the hair from his face and memorising the colour of his eyes. Never, it was Izaya, so disgusting.

He blamed his weird emotions on damned hormones. Or was he too old to use that excuse? Whatever, it was crazy teenage hormones.

Izaya apparently didn’t continue his swimming, which was a little disappointing to Shizuo, he wanted to race against him again, or just swim with him in general even. Izaya said he only joined the swim team in middle school to get closer to Shizuo (a confession that totally did _not_ make Shizuo blush, shut up) so there was no point for Izaya to continue swimming in high school. He said he didn’t really even like it in the first place, and swimming just reminded him too much of Shizuo.

So he really did miss him too.

Shizuo missed him, of course, even during school when he couldn’t message him he missed him and couldn’t wait to get home to his computer.

This went on for a couple of days, it was routine now; messaging Izaya in the morning before school, walking to class, swim practice after school, then Shizuo nearly sprinting home with a grin on his face. It was exciting, getting to talk to Izaya, it was almost like they were pen pals.

“Hey!” He was on his way home one evening from swim practice, when a group of guys stopped him in the street. There were four of them, all with doofy sneers and crooked grins. Funny, they thought they were in some gang or something, with very intimidating and scary baseball bats like they were tough stuff.

“What do you want?” Shizuo grumbled, these idiots were getting in the way of speaking to Izaya. Annoying brats.

“A pretty boy like you must have some money to spare huh?” One of them snickered. Pretty boy? Dyed hair and a built figure counted as a pretty boy? Shizuo was broke anyways, nothing for them to steal from him.

“Sorry, don’t got anything on me,” Shizuo replied, attempting to keep his anger in check as he tries to brush past them. They weren’t having it though.

“That bag of yours must got somethin’” the apparent “leader” says, making a move to grab Shizuo’s duffle bag.

Shizuo just snorts and holds it away from him, “a swim suit and a towel, don’t know how much those are worth, unless you want to wash them for me and I’ll give you 200 yen.”

“Oh a smart mouth!” One of the thugs shouted, hefting his bat onto his shoulder, unsuccessfully trying to look scary. 

Shizuo sighs, he really didn’t want to get into a fight today, he _was_ in such a good mood. He sets his duffle bag down next to a street sign and rolls up his sleeves.

“Hey, you’re that Heiwajima kid aren’t ya?!” One of them shouts, and Shizuo looks up at him and raises an eyebrow. “Yeah it is him! He’s that little freak with that crazy strength!”

_Eek! A monster!_ He heard it so many times on the street.

“Oh yeah! I’ve heard of that! It can’t be this kid though, he’s too scrawny to be able to lift a car though.”

“A car?” Shizuo rolls his eyes. Is that really what the rumours are saying about him?

“See, told you, totally is this kid!”

“If he’s so strong, then he should be able to take on all of us right?” Snickers all around, they were going to gang up on him. Really? It never worked, even four guys weren’t a match to his strength.

_What a freak._

Not even armed thugs, really, baseball bats didn’t do much to him either.

Lifting the bat in a batter’s stance, one of them lunges forward, and swings at Shizuo’s head. Luckily his reflexes are fast, and he raises a hand quick enough to protect his face, grabbing the bat and ripping it from the thug’s grip. “Why did you have to ruin my day? It was going so good.” Shizuo growls, and places his other hand on the other hand of the bat, then with little effort he snaps the bat in two, as if it was a pencil, and throws the wooden shards on the ground.

They all stare at him mortified, like so many have done before. _Be afraid,_ he watches them, their expressions change from horror to anger, _I am Ikebukuro’s beast._

The others lunge towards him, swinging bats and fists with a new vengeance. _Violence doesn’t solve anything,_ Shizuo easily blocks the blows, only a few taking him off guard and hitting unprotected spots. The blows only slightly sting, but he soon forgets about the pain.

_Please just run before I use violence too._

Okay, enough.

Shizuo throws a punch, hitting the leader square in the jaw and sending him flying backwards onto the pavement. The others watch with wide eyes as their leader lies groaning on the sidewalk. Another punch while their backs were turned, and then only two left. Shizuo growls angrily and grabs the street sign beside him, crunching the metal in his hand as he pulls it out of the cement. The two thugs exchange worried glances, before one squeaks pathetically and turns on his heels, fleeing away. 

“Cowar- dah!” It only takes a smack in the side of the shoulders with the pole to send the last one against the building, and then slumping to the ground.

Shizuo is left alone, except for two unconscious idiots, and a rolling and groaning moron.

Really? They made him resort to violence again. He hated violence, he hated it, hated being violent. Why was he like this.

He drops the sign clattering to the ground, useless and broken. 

As he bends down to pick up his bag, suddenly he hears a single person clapping. He stands up and looks around confused; not the thugs. What the? He turns, trying to find who’s clapping, and he sees someone standing behind him, a huge grin on their striking face.

“I see the name ‘BukuroBeast’ does really fit you, Shizu-chan.”

It can only be one person; that smirk, those crimson eyes, that raven hair.

Izaya.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How even fight scene?  
> Wowowow over 100 kudos? Thank you so much everyone! I never thought people would actually be into this! Thank you all so much you're all too amazing <3


	11. Return

“I didn’t realise Shizu-chan dyed his hair, I almost didn’t recognise him, the strength, of course, is unforgettable however.” Izaya chirps with that same cocky voice. Well, his voice was deeper now, more mature, but it was still his, it was still Izaya. 

His duffle bag forgotten, Shizuo steps towards Izaya in a daze. He stares at him with wide, unbelieving eyes, his legs feel like jelly, this isn’t real, this is just a dream right? Izaya wasn’t physically here in front of him, was he?

Izaya raises an eyebrow and smirks as he watches Shizuo, unmoving. As he reaches him, Shizuo holds out a hand, wanting to touch Izaya to make sure he was real, but Izaya grabs his hand, and pulls him closer. Way too close for comfort, Shizuo can feel the heat reddening his cheeks as Izaya breathes close to his own lips. Izaya pulls up Shizuo’s sleeve, then hums, his fingers tracing the small indents on his forearm, the faint left over marks from fangs sunken into flesh years before. “Ah, so it did leaves scars?” Izaya says, his voice surprisingly soft as he brushes his fingers against the scars.

“Izaya,” Shizuo says, still in disbelief. Izaya was here, right in front of him, he was touching Izaya who was physically here. He slightly tugs on his arms, pulling Izaya closer, then traps him in a hug.

Startled at first, Izaya struggles to get out of the hold, but Shizuo refuses to let him go. Not this time, he wasn’t letting him leave this time.

With a sigh Izaya resigns to his face, and actually hugs him back, shyly wrapping his arms around Shizuo’s waist. “I didn’t realise Shizu-chan would become so clingy.”

“Shut up,” Shizuo growls, burying his face into Izaya’s hair, breathing in the scent that was specifically Izaya. He was much shorter than he remembered, or maybe he himself was just taller, Izaya was much skinnier however, he felt too fragile and small in his arms. He breaks away, and steps back, looking Izaya over. God he was puny, he felt like if he had hugged him too hard he probably could have snapped him in two, with his strength he probably would have, if he didn’t pull away.

Izaya seems to be looking him over too, and it makes him a little self conscious. He hated being stared at, too many people stared at him like he was a freak show, but Izaya’s crimson eyes darting up and down his body made him feel something different. Izaya’s face lost its edge as a peaceful ghost of a smile graced his lips.

God, he was more beautiful than he imagined.

“Izaya,” he says, getting the attention of those eyes. “You’re… you’re actually…”

“I’m here,” Izaya says, all softness in his face disappearing, a cocky fake smirk trying to cover his obvious embarrassment. “You know you can’t get rid of me that easily.” Flustered, a faint pink dusts his cheeks. Maybe he shouldn’t have immediately hugged him, that was a little awkward.

“How long?” Shizuo asked. Hopefully he was here longer than a few days or weeks. He didn’t want him to leave again, not any time soon, not ever.

“Just for today. But I’m moving out Shizu-chan, I found my own apartment, here in Ikebukuro. Once graduation is over I’ll be moving in.”

Shizuo blinks and stares at him speechless. Izaya was… staying. Permanently. He was here for good. After graduation he’d be closer to him, he’d be in Ikebukuro. Here. He could almost cry he was so happy. Almost. He didn’t, he did have some dignity, he didn’t want Izaya to have _that_ over him. But damn was he ever happy, his face nearly exploded with a wide grin as a happy giggle bubbled up from his throat. 

“So I guess you’ll be stuck with me for a while now.” Izaya places a hand on his hip, his eyes looking Shizuo over. 

“I guess so,” Shizuo says in response. He feels dumb, grinning so uncontrollably, but it seems to be infectious, as Izaya soon matches his smile with his own that lights up his gorgeous eyes.

“Grad is only a couple months, Shizu-chan, can you wait that long?” Izaya purrs, trying to be teasing, but his grin gives himself away. Usually Izaya can hold back his emotions, keep them in check and put on fake masks, but right now he can’t help it, he was happy, for the first time in a long time. Moving away was hard, his parents wanted to move into the bigger house a city over, since their old house wasn’t big enough for them and his toddler twin sisters, but ever since Izaya was old enough to take care of them himself, his parents were never around. He hated being a babysitter, he hated his parents for ditching them and leaving them to fend for themselves. Since turning 18, Izaya has been looking for an apartment for himself only, his sisters were going to a boarding school anyway so they’d be taken care of, and its not like his parents would care either way, so he found an apartment in Ikebukuro. He would finish high school then move in.

He came to Ikebukuro today to check out the apartment, and it was rather nice, so he decided to take it. He would pay for it as soon as he got the money from his “shady interests,” as Shinra called them. It really wasn’t that shady, just selling some information on some people to some gang members or something, nothing too bad, at least not to him.

He came to Ikebukuro hoping he’d happen upon Shizuo, he never expected to actually find him.

“You’re only here for today?” Shizuo asks suddenly. 

Izaya’s smile fades, replaced by a small frown, “yes, I’ll go back home after today.”

“Then can we-“ Shizuo starts, but then hesitates. This was weird, it was almost too much like asking Izaya out on a date. No, it wasn’t a date, totally not a date, just a day with a friend, just to spend time together. “Want to go somewhere?”

“Is Shizu-chan asking me out on a date?” He laughs cockily. Dammit Izaya. This was why he was so annoying in middle school.

“No,” Shizuo says defensively. “If you’re only here for today then I want to spend time with you… you know, like... as friends. To catch up, or whatever.” He looks away, red blossoming on his cheeks again. Why did Izaya always have to be to embarrassing.

Izaya softens a bit, the pestering tone disappearing from his voice, “yeah, Shizu-chan, I’d actually like that.”


	12. Falling

He really had no reason to be so nervous.

So why was he so damned nervous?!

It was just Izaya. It wasn’t like this was some date, he shouldn’t feel the need to impress him. But then why did he want to impress him so badly? He wanted to buy him somewhere fancy, or do something exciting, or do anything at all, but he didn’t have any money, barely enough to buy food somewhere, definitely not enough to go to a movie or something. So what should they do? He really did want to impress Izaya, he didn’t know how. He really wanted Izaya to like him.

Shizuo tightly gripped the strap of his duffle bag as they walked, Izaya had a slight skip in his step as he walked slightly ahead of him, obviously in a good mood. Dammit why was he so cute? The smile on his face as he walked beside him hit his heart and made it sore. Izaya had grown really attractive, no doubt about it, and the small smile that graced his lips, and the fact that Shizuo being with him is what made him so happy, it really did things to him that he couldn’t explain. He had butterflies in his stomach, his palms were sweaty, and he could feel the heat tinting his cheeks red. Thankfully Izaya hasn’t noticed just how flustered he was getting, or he’d definitely tease him about it.

He realizes suddenly that his mother is waiting for him, so he takes out his phone and quickly sends her a text. He almost runs into a pole but Izaya grabs his arm and pulls him out of the way. “What? Texting your girlfriend to let her know you aren’t cheating on her?” Izaya smirks at him, trying to look at the screen of Shizuo’s phone.

“No!” He yelps defensively, “I don’t have a girlfriend. This is just my mother; I’m letting her know where I am.”

Izaya’s face changes for an instant, too quick for him to read before its back to a cocky grin. “I find it hard to believe Shizu-chan has no girlfriend, are you hiding something from me?”

“Where did you want to go?” Shizuo says quickly, trying to change the subject, and ignoring the fact that his voice just awkwardly cracked.

“I haven’t been to Ikebukuro in a while Shizu-chan, why don’t you show me ‘the hottest spots’ where teens hang out? Where do you go with friends? What do you do with them?”

Shizuo shrugs, “swim?”

“I’m not talking about the swim club, Shizu-chan, I mean what do you do out of school? For fun? You do know what fun is right?”

Again, Shizuo shrugs. He didn’t have many friends, Tom was his only friend, Shinra just stuck around him, he only sort of counted him as a friend. He didn’t do anything out of school, his life revolved around classes and the swim team.

“I get milkshakes?” He replied, tilting his head slightly. Whenever he got into a fight or was pissed or upset Tom brought him to a little café that had his favourite milkshakes. 

Izaya wrinkled his nose up, “milkshakes? Did you want two curly straws we can drink out of and stare lovingly in each other’s eyes as we drink? Do you live in the 50s?” He snorts, a frown creasing his face. _No, don’t look like that, you were cute when you smiled._ But even his little pout was too much for him, even that was strangely cute as well. “You like that sweet stuff?”

Shizuo huffs defensively “of course! They’re my favourite.” He loved sweet things; ice cream, chocolate, hard candy, milkshakes. 

“May I propose another place? We could get sushi, and I’m pretty sure they have stuff like milkshakes there. Shinra told me about it, it sounded good.” 

“Sushi?” His face falls. He probably doesn’t have enough money to buy sushi, he barely had enough for a milkshake, he was so excited to get one. If Izaya wanted to get sushi maybe there would be something cheap enough for him there, but he really didn’t’ want to risk it. “Izaya, I’m not really sure I can-“

“My treat.” He interrupts, “you just got into a fight, you probably want to relax and calm down after that right?”

“Oh… y-yeah okay. Thanks,” he mumbles, getting slightly flustered again. Izaya was buying him food, they were going to a little restaurant together. This wasn’t a date though; it was just two friends hanging out together.

It was maybe a little sad, but Shizuo almost wanted to call this a date, but he doubted Izaya would. 

Ugh why was he still thinking about this? _Just friends. Just friends. Just friends. Just friends._ He repeated this over and over in his head, a silent mantra to himself as he and Izaya walked to whatever restaurant they were going to. Izaya still had a small skip in his step as he stayed close to Shizuo’s side. He could feel him beside him as he gripped tightly at his bag, wanting something for his hands to do, instead of imagining what it would be like to hold Izaya’s.

They ended up at some place called “Russia Sushi” and were greeted by a tall man who didn’t know Japanese that well. He spoke in a loud voice, booming something about how “sushi good for you” and surprisingly, Izaya responded to the man in another language, most likely Russian. He seemed to know enough to speak to the other man, who’s face lit up as Izaya spoke to him. Shizuo was lost as they had a short conversation before Izaya lead the way to a table behind sliding doors.

“There, we can have a little privacy.” Izaya closes the paper walls behind them, then sits down at the table, looking up at Shizuo and waiting for him to do the same.

Shizuo awkwardly stands for a moment, a little unsure, before placing his bag down in the corner of the room then sitting down across from him. “You know Russian?”

“A little, I’m just learning though. He said he would get you a milkshake.” Izaya grinned proudly, obviously just pleased he could show off in front of Shizuo.

“Oh, um, thank you.” Shizuo looks away, the light pink coming back to his cheeks again. Why was he doing all this stuff for him? He didn’t do anything to deserve this, Izaya was just spoiling him? Was he just trying to show off?

“So, Shizu-chan,” Izaya starts, trying to make conversation, “you’re still swimming, correct?”

“Oh!” He perks up. Yeah, something he can talk about so he isn’t just sitting there awkwardly. “Yeah, I’m on my high school’s swim team.” 

“Are you still one of the best?” Izaya smirks and leans his elbows on the table, resting his chin on his hands. He was examining Shizuo like his prey, his eyes locked onto his face as he watched his expressions. For some reason, Shizuo really didn’t mind it either.

“I don’t think so, there’s always room for improvement. I could always improve my swimming, and my academic needs some work too.” He scratches the back of his neck shamefully. His grades weren’t where he hoped they would be, but its hard when a lot of things distracted him and he had a lot of things going on in his mind.

“Well I can help you, Shizu-chan. We could set up Skype and I could help you with your homework. I do want Shizu-chan to graduate after all,” Izaya smirked, “I don’t want him to fail and be forced to drop out.”

“My grades aren’t that bad,” he says defensively. Usually he’d get mad and throw something at anyone that made fun of his grades or call him stupid, but he couldn’t help himself but grin when Izaya did it. He knew he was teasing, he shouldn’t let it get to his head, too many things did.

He paused, an idea suddenly coming to him. “Why don’t we go swimming after this?” He asked, a little too excited already. He wanted to swim with Izaya again, its been so long.

“Shizu-chan,” Izaya laughs softly, as if speaking to a child. Damn, don’t laugh like that, its too cute. “I don’t have a swim suit.”

Shizuo’s face falls instantly, “oh…” 

_Speaking of stupid,_ he mentally kicks himself. Don’t be such a idiot in front of Izaya.

“I’d like to watch you swim however,” Izaya adds.

Shizuo looks up at him surprised, “really?” He was pretty sure his face was completely red now. Izaya wanted to watch him swim? A bubbly laugh almost escaped his lips, but he caught himself. That shouldn’t make him feel this way. It wasn’t like Izaya had any intentions, it wasn’t like he wanted to see his body, he just wanted to see him swim, Izaya knew he was a good swimmer. Not for any other reason. Right? _Stop thinking these things._

“Oi, does Shizu-chan have a fever?” Izaya watches him with a cocky smirk, “you’re awfully red.” He knew damned well it wasn’t a fever making him flushed.

“No, I-“ the tall man from before knocks then opens the door, placing a plate of sushi and drinks on the table. Izaya instantly lights up when he sees the sushi, the man says something about enjoying the food, but neither of them are listening. Shizuo is too busy watching the subtle changes in Izaya’s expression. He’s noticed that Izaya has certain faces, charming little masks he puts on when he teases. But his genuine emotions show on his face when he’s truly happy, with small creases by his eyes when he smiles, the softer upturn of his lips, less cruel looking than his masks.

He was falling hard for Izaya, and he really didn’t care anymore. He accepted it, he couldn’t contain it anymore.

“Ootoro,” Izaya hums as he takes a piece of the food, his whole face beaming with a warm glow, “my favourite!” He plops the sushi in his mouth and closes his eyes as he slowly chews, savouring the flavour, and unintentionally making a rather lewd face. The soft moans he makes as he licks his fingers totally does not send tingles down to Shizuo’s crotch. Definitely not. _Dammit hormones, we talked about this, calm down._

Shizuo grabs his milkshake and takes a long sip, wanting to distract his thoughts with something else. The taste of the milkshake; it was actually very good, probably too sweet to most people, but just enough for him. He closes his eyes, trying to focus on the flavour and not the thoughts of Izaya swirling around in his head. 

Today has been a really weird day.

They stay for a while, Izaya eats most of the sushi, Shizuo is content with just his milkshake, but he does eat the couple pieces that Izaya forces him to try. This place really is quite good; he should start coming here more often. From what Izaya says the bill isn’t too much either, which Shizuo’s wallet agrees is good. Yeah, he’ll probably come here more often, hopefully with Izaya again.

Once they leave the restaurant Izaya is noticeably more sluggish than before, his happy little skip from before is sadly missing. Shizuo frowns, worried something is bothering him, or that he did something to upset him, “you okay?” 

“Yeah,” Izaya nods, then gives an over dramatic moan, “just ate too much!”

Shizuo snickers, “good thing you aren’t going to swim then.”

Izaya huffs and pouts, “so mean Shizu-chan! I’m suffering!”

“You aren’t suffering,” he laughs again. Izaya really was too cute for him to handle.

“Where should we go to swim though? Is there a pool open?” Izaya looks at Shizuo curiously, apparently having made a remarkable recovery from his sufferage.

“I could get the coach to let me into the pool at my school, he should still be there.” Hopefully he was at school still. He didn’t want to go to a public pool, he never liked those, always too many people, plus he doubted the pools would be open this late. The school pool was usually open in the evenings anyway to let the team members practice.

“Swimming at school then? Just like old times.” Izaya looks up at the taller boy and smiles warmly. Shizuo felt something fuzzy bloom in his chest, and he looks down, avoiding that crimson gaze for he knew for sure he was blushing again. 

He swore he wasn’t normally like this. Usually he had more self control, and could keep a hold of his hormones and not blush like a damned middle school girl gushing over a boy. Something about Izaya, however, made him lose himself and join that teenage girl and gush right with her. Izaya hadn’t seemed to have noticed yet, or if he did he didn’t say anything. He was so hard to read sometimes, he couldn’t tell what he was feeling about him, if anything at all. He seemed to be happy for right now though, that’s really all that mattered to him, he wanted to see him continue to smile that beautiful smile.

However, Izaya’s smile faded once they came up to the closed and locked up high school.

“Damn,” Shizuo mumbled. He hadn’t realised it was so late, the sun was already setting, he should have known it’d be closed already. He turned to Izaya, about to apologise, but he stopped once he saw Izaya’s mischievous grin once again plastered to his face. “Izaya?” He asked, looking at him confused. 

“Shizu-chan,” he turns to him, a manic look in his eyes. “Please tell me your pool is an outdoor pool.”

“What?” He blinks, baffled. “Yeah, it is, but-“

“Say no more!” Izaya snickers and grabs Shizuo’s hand, dragging him around the school. “Is it in the back?”

Shizuo just stammers a yes, his brain unable to come up with any other thoughts. Izaya was holding his hand. His whole body heated up with the contact, his palms grew sweaty as he allowed himself to be dragged dumbly along. He didn’t realise where Izaya was going until they stopped at the chain link fence blocking them from the pool. 

“I’m assuming Shizu-chan can climb?” Izaya says, way more excited than he should be.

“Izaya I’m not breaking into the pool!” Shizuo whispers sternly. 

“Aw come on Shizu-chan, live a little! We’ll be in and out, no one will know.”

“The cameras will know,” he dead pans.

“I can take care of that, okay? Please Shizu-chan?” Izaya looks at him with sad little puppy dog eyes. “When will the next time we get to do something like this be? Take a chance Shizu-chan, trust me.”

Red lights were flashing in his head, warning signs shining like beacons, everything told him no, to not do this, its wrong, he’ll get in trouble. Izaya, on the other hand, made a compelling argument. This was the only day he had with him until graduation, they should do something fun, right? Something memorable. He did really want to impress Izaya too. 

What the hell, he had always acted on impulse, why stop now?

He nods, and Izaya’s whole face lights up. “Great! Shizu-chan really is fun!” He beams before turning and grabbing the fence, elegantly hoisting himself up and climbing over the fence like a damned spider. He gracefully jumps down, landing on his feet like a cat, then turns to watch Shizuo do the same.

Shizuo, of course, isn’t as graceful. After much hesitation, he climbs the fence with relative ease, he is rather strong from swimming, after all. As he tries to climb over the top he misses a step and he slips, crashing down to the grass and knocking the wind out of his lungs with a huff.

Izaya, that little bugger, just laughs, doubling over and holding his stomach as he watches Shizuo struggle for air. Damned sadistic flea. 

“So graceful Shizu-chan,” Izaya says between fits of giggling.

“Not funny,” Shizuo wheezes as he sits up, finally able to breathe again, “laughing at other people’s misery.” He tries to sound mad, but he can’t help but smile too. Izaya’s true laughter was really infectious. 

“Fine, fine,” Izaya says, coming over to him and holding out a hand to him. Shizuo takes his hand and Izaya helps him peel himself off the ground.

Shizuo brushes the dust off himself, then follows Izaya to the edge of the pool. The setting sun is casting a beautiful range of colours against the gentle waves created by the cool wind in the water. The orange glow casts a warm light against Izaya’s skin, and Shizuo can’t help but want to memorise the image. He was too gorgeous, the way the soft warmth showed off every—agh?

Before he can even react Izaya pushes him into the pool. Surprised for a moment, Shizuo flounders around, trying to figure out which way is up. His feet find the bottom of the pool, and he quickly shoots himself to the surface, coughing up water and trying to breathe in air at the same time.

Izaya is laughing like a maniac, wheezing as he laughs too hard, ending up snorting as he covers his mouth. “Your face Shizu-chan! So priceless!” He hollers in between his fits of uncontrollable laughter.

Surprisingly Shizuo finds it really hard to be mad when Izaya laughs like that. Who knew Izaya snorted when he laughed. Too cute. Soon Shizuo is laughing too.

“There, we’re even now, I got my revenge finally” Izaya says, wiping the tears from his eyes as he crouches down beside the edge of the pool, little spurts of giggles still spilling from his lips. He holds a hand out to Shizuo to help him out of the pool, but Shizuo just smirks cruelly and grabs his hand, pulling Izaya into the pool with him.

Izaya panics for a moment as he falls into the water, his head submerging for a second before he desperately clings to Shizuo, trying to keep his head above water. Shizuo laughs as he wraps his arms around Izaya, protectively keeping him above the surface. “Got you,” he smirks, floating backwards so Izaya can lay on his chest and stay above the water easier. “I got you,” he softly says again as he watches Izaya cling to his wet shirt, his eyes wide as he breathes fast, obviously startled. He felt a little bad, Izaya probably wasn’t as comfortable as he was in the water, but having Izaya against his chest, getting to hold him close and keep him safe was enough to compensate for his guilt.

After a moment Izaya looks up at him and pouts, “you’re mean Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo laughs, “you did it first.”

“No, you did, in middle school, remember?” Izaya frowns again, and Shizuo can’t help but laugh again. He looked like a grumpy cat who didn’t like having baths. “Shizu-chaaaan,” he whines.

Shizuo laughs softly, a low rumbling in his chest which makes the water around them ripple away. “I got you, don’t I?” He says, his hands sprawling across Izaya’s back, making sure he has him safe.

Izaya’s eyes widen, as if just realising now that he was floating on Shizuo’s chest. The grip on Shizuo’s shirt tightens as he looks away from him, a faint blush painting his cheeks a cute pink. He lays his head on his chest, and doesn’t make a move to leave him. Shizuo’s is sure that Izaya can hear his heart beat erratically. 

God, he was actually holding Izaya, and Izaya was fine with it.

They both stay like that, neither breaking the calm silence as they float in the water like two little otters. The water gently wraps around their legs as Shizuo slowly kicks off the bottom of the pool. He can see the stars when he looks straight up, the first few appearing as the sun disappears, leaving only the calm night. Today has been weird, yes, but in many ways its been truly beautiful. He’s happy.

He almost thinks Izaya has fallen asleep, but he breaks the silence by whispering, “Shizu-chan.” He clings closer to Shizuo, slightly shivering as the cool evening air tries to freeze their wet clothes, “what is it that you want?”

Shizuo blinks confused, and looks down his chest at Izaya, who hasn’t looked up at him yet. “What do you mean?”

Izaya doesn’t say anything at first, but he slowly pushes against Shizuo, getting him to open his arms so that he can pull away. They both stand in the pool, and Izaya looks at him finally, something strange swirling around those crimson eyes. “What do you want?”

“I don’t-“ Shizuo begins to speak, thoroughly confused by Izaya’s sudden question, but he’s silenced once Izaya presses his lips against his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man it's been so long since I updated I'm sorry. As forgiveness please have what you all have been waiting for~


	13. Warmth

There was a moment of silence. The water seemed to be a bit hotter around them, or it might just have been Shizuo himself who was heating up. He was frozen, he didn’t know how to react. This couldn’t be real, right? Izaya was here, he could feel him physically here. Izaya was kissing him, _him,_ and he did it first! Izaya moved in first, he initiated this! 

Apparently Shizuo’s reaction wasn’t the one Izaya had been looking for. As he pulls away, there’s an ecstatic, incredibly innocent joy in his eyes, but as he sees Shizuo’s mostly likely dumbfounded expression, Izaya’s face drops. He frowns, and backs away more, his face beet red as he avoids looking at him.

“I’m sorry, Shizu-chan, I just thought that-“ but Shizuo cuts him off with his own kiss. He grabs Izaya by his shirt, peeling the wet fabric off his chest as he pulls him in closer, kissing him a bit more forcefully than he meant.

Yeah, this was real. The feel of Izaya’s lips against his own was way better than he imagined, and yeah, he’ll admit he imagined what it would feel like to kiss him. Izaya’s lips, always curled into a cruel smile, were now his.

“Don’t apologise Izaya,” he says once they part, only a hair’s distance from him. He could feel his breath mingling with his, they were so close.

This meant something, didn’t it? _Kissing_ was more than “just a friend” thing. He didn’t know exactly what it meant though. Did this mean they were going to become… something?

“Shizu-chan,” Izaya mumbles, obviously embarrassed, he didn’t say much more. He could practically see the gears working in his head, trying to think of something to say. Izaya is never speechless, he always has something cocky and smug to say. This was new though, he’s never seen such human emotions in Izaya; such awkwardness and nervousness. He was usually so confident, he must really be out of his element here. Not that he should be talking, its not like Shizuo had much experience with this stuff himself.

“I didn’t realise you felt the same way,” Shizuo says, breaking the silence. He could feel Izaya shiver against him, maybe from the emotions overwhelming him, but most likely from the cold air nipping at their wet skin and clothes. They should really get going before they catch a cold or something.

“I took a chance, Shizu-chan, I wasn’t sure if you felt the same as well.” Izaya was still blushing, and Shizuo had to admit he admired his bravery. He didn’t know if he felt the same, yet he took a leap of faith. He could never do that himself, he had too much self doubt to go through with something like that. He couldn’t help but smile at the thought. He actually meant that much to Izaya?

“I’m glad you did,” he says, caressing Izaya’s cheek. It felt really good to just be able to hold him, but god was Izaya ever cold. “Hey, we should get going, it’s getting late, and you’re freezing.” He tries to be stern enough to show he cares. He really didn’t want Izaya getting sick, and he was so puny it probably would take much for him to freeze to death.

“Okay,” he replies simply, sloshing his way to the edge of the pool.

Shizuo gets out first, obviously practiced enough that getting out of a pool is second nature to him. Izaya isn’t as graceful, and takes the hand Shizuo offers to him to help him out of the pool. Water is dragged out of the pool and darkens the cement as they stand shivering. It was actually late, the stars were clearly visible now, and for some reason, they seemed to shine particularly beautifully tonight. Shizuo stares up at the sky, admiring their light as a happy warmth spreads through his chest. It takes a moment for him to realise the warmth isn’t just a calm happiness, but actually Izaya pressed against his torso, his arms tucked into his chest as he huddles for warmth. Shizuo laughs softly and wraps his arms around the smaller body cuddled against him, brushing his hands through his hair to free up some of the unruly tangles. “Izaya, you know I have a towel in my bag, and a jacket.”

Izaya just grunts a reply, hiding his face in Shizuo’s shirt. “Come on, you clingy flea, I don’t want you getting hypothermia.” Shizuo says as he steps away, winning a small whine of protest from Izaya, but he follows him to the fence where Shizuo left his bag. Thankfully Izaya hadn’t pushed him in with the bag, or they both would be freezing, not to mention his phone and homework were in his bag.

Izaya stands away from Shizuo as he tries to wring out some of the water from his clothes, twisting them to force the water out of the fabric. Shizuo hands Izaya his towel, which he instantly wraps around himself, trying to dry out some of the dampness.   
Shizuo’s jacket had his school’s logo on it, and it was a little big on him. When he offered it to Izaya, he puts it on with a thankful expression, but the jacket completely dwarfs him, swallowing up any trace of Izaya’s hands. 

It was awfully cute, especially with the pout Izaya puts on. “Shizu-chan,” he whines, “you’re like a yeti, why are you so tall?” 

Shizuo just laughs in reply, “why are you so small?” He smirks, which awards him with another childish pout from Izaya. “Roll up the sleeves, you don’t want them getting in the way,” he adds as takes the towel back, stuffing it in his bag, then throwing it over the fence. “You don’t want to get it caught on the fence and hurt yourself.”

“Please, Shizu-chan,” Izaya says, replacing the pout with a smug grin, “I am nothing but graceful.” Thankfully, he rolls up the sleeves however, Shizuo really didn’t want him hurting himself on top of getting a cold or hypothermia.

Shizuo climbs the fence first this time, landing on his feet this time and not his face. He turns and watches Izaya carefully, ready just in case to catch him, but Izaya, of course, climbs the fence and jumps down with such fluid motions he makes it look easy. He wasn’t as worried about Izaya the first time they did this as he is now. Maybe the prospect of being “something” made him feel overly protective about him? Whatever, he wanted to protect him, he was his.

Izaya lands gracefully, throwing in a little flare just to show off. Shizuo snorts and grabs his bag, and begins to walk. Yeah, Izaya didn’t really need protecting, at least not from heights, but he as darned if he would let Izaya get a cold. He watched him with some concern as he pushes the sleeves back down over his hands, probably wanting to retain more heat. He himself only had his damp clothes on, he could feel the crisp night air biting at his skin, but Izaya had his jacket on, yet he could tell he was trying to hide the fact that he was cold. “Izaya,” he could see Izaya trembling. Maybe it wasn’t much, it probably won’t really help, but he holds his hand out to Izaya.

Holding hands would help keep him warm right? 

Izaya looks at him, then down at his hand. There’s a long silence before Izaya eventually takes his hand in his own.

He’s not sure if its working for Izaya, but he definitely feels himself heating up, especially his face.

What was this exactly? _This_ mutual feeling both of them felt. Kissing and holding hands was something special. Did Izaya actually want to make something of this? Of them? Something changed this night, actually, he felt like a lot of things have changed. Between Izaya and himself, he wondered if Izaya felt it too, he must, right? They were holding hands, like a couple, they _kissed,_ there was no way things could just stay the same.

They both were silent the whole walk, neither of them sure of what to speak about, or what they should say to the other. Once they got close to Shizuo’s house, he stops and lets go of his hand. “Hey,” he starts, shuffling his feet awkwardly, “what did you… actually want, form… this? From… us?”

Izaya doesn’t answer right away, when he does he speaks quietly, “shall we see tomorrow?”

It wasn’t exactly the answer he was hoping for, but Shizuo nods. He can hear the hesitation in Izaya’s voice, the nervousness. Neither of them knew for sure how to go about this, so if Izaya needed time to sort out his feelings and thoughts, it was okay. In fact, Shizuo could use some time too. This was all very… sudden. He didn’t regret it though, none of this, not one bit. He wouldn’t take it back for the world, he was rather happy Izaya made a move, but he had to admit he was a bit nervous and shy himself. He really hoped Izaya felt the same, he didn’t want Izaya to regret what he did. He really did like him, a _lot._

“Take all the time you need, Izaya,” Shizuo says with a smile, that one smile that he doesn’t even know makes Izaya’s heart flutter. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow?”

Izaya nods, “of course Shizu-chan, you can’t get rid of me that easily, remember?” 

Yeah, he remembers, and it makes his heart soar. He really did want to be “something” with Izaya.

He watches a little sadly as Izaya leaves then. He didn’t want to see him go, he didn’t want him gone again. But at least this time he knew he would come back. He would see him again.

He didn’t realise how late it was until he got inside his home. His mother was waiting for him, worried sick and angry about him being out so late.

He would see Izaya again, if he survived his mother.


	14. Living

As school season came closer to the end and summer rapidly approached, the days started to become longer and hotter. Shizuo only enjoyed summer because it was swimming weather, but this summer was different however, he was dreading it; this summer was his first “free” summer, there was no back to school after. Graduation was just around the corner. 

Along than those anxieties, Shizuo and Izaya still haven’t put a label on what "they" were.

They haven't really talked about that day much; that day in the pool when they kissed. They were both awkward and shy, and maybe a little embarrassed about it, so they just haven't spoken about it. Not that Shizuo regretted what they did, not one bit, but he was starting to get afraid that maybe Izaya did. They still chatted and video called each other through Skype, Shizuo preferred it much more than that shady "Dollars" site, but it was still a little awkward to see each other.

Shizuo never brought up that day, he wanted to however, boy, did he want to. What stopped him was he didn't want to scare Izaya away. Neither of them were exactly fond of people getting close, it seemed, Izaya didn't have any friends at his school, Shizuo only had Shinra and Tom, so neither of them were exactly comfortable with the prospect of "boyfriends" yet. Even though Shizuo dreamt about it for so long, it was still scary.

That being said, he still couldn't wait to see him again. After graduation they could get to see each other more often; Izaya was coming back! In only a couple weeks they'd both be graduates, and they'd be starting a new chapter in their lives.

Izaya was ecstatic, Shizuo on the other hand was terrified.

Izaya couldn't be happier to be coming back, away from his family and that house they moved to. Shizuo couldn't fully comprehend it; part of him couldn't imagine wanting to get away from your family, but another part of him perfectly understood it; Shizuo didn’t like being a burden to his family, he felt guilty they had to put up with his “peculiarities.” Izaya, on the other hand, didn’t like having the burden of his family, so he couldn’t wait to get away from them. 

So, both of them were excited to graduate. 

Shizuo felt like he should be getting his own place anyway, getting a job, becoming a “productive member of society.” He also felt it would be best, since then his mother wouldn’t have to deal with his fights, his accidental vandalism, his strength and his anger. He was always injured, his bones couldn’t handle the stress of such strength, he spent a lot of time in the hospital, which racked up a pretty big bill, so he felt he really owed it to his mother to get a job and help her pay for the expenses, even if she kept telling him there was no need. He owed her a lot more than that really. He did feel a little guilty about just up and leaving her, but he felt as though it was for the best. He could work and pay her back for all she’s done for him over the years.

He really wanted a life with Izaya, as well.

It was cheesy, he knew it was, but he really wanted to. He wouldn't admit it, but part of him was hoping Izaya would ask to be room mates, and that they could find a place together. Shizuo could find a job and help him with rent too, plus, wouldn't then they would really know what "they" were then?

Was it too soon though? It was just a thing while they worked out what they were going to do after graduation. Lots of teenagers do that right? Get a place, and a room mate, and just work while they figure out what they want to do with their life.

…ugh.

Maybe he should just scrap all of this.

He wasn’t sure if Izaya even wanted to be something, he wasn’t sure if Izaya regretted their kiss or not. He wasn’t sure if Izaya would even want to be room mates. He wasn’t even sure if he could _get_ a job, much less help pay for everything.

Why was being an adult so hard?

He was too nervous about everything; graduating, getting a job, _Izaya._

He didn’t know what he was going to do with his life after graduation.

* * *

“Are you moved into your place at all yet?” Shizuo asked as he wrote on the sheet of paper that was beside him on the desk. His laptop danced with the imagine of Izaya, in another house too far away from him. Izaya’s camera was better quality, and he could make out the small details of his face as he spoke. Shizuo’s webcam, on the other hand, was just the laptop’s default, and an awful quality one at that, Izaya was probably having a hard time, since he was sitting close to the screen and slightly squinting.

“I’ve gotten some furniture in; a table, some dressers, drawers, some keepsakes that I don’t immediately need, things like that. All my stuff is still here; I’ll be moving the rest a couple days after graduation.”

Shizuo was supposed to be studying for his finals, but he was too nervous and anxious about everything, he just wanted to talk to Izaya for a bit, it always calmed him down. Everything was still swirling through his head, all the uncertainties about his future. Izaya always seemed so confident in himself, so in control of every detail in his life. He knew what he was doing, he already had a job (even though it was shady and Shizuo didn’t exactly like that) and on top of that he didn’t even seem nervous about finals. Must be nice.

“Has Shizu-chan decided what he’s doing after graduation yet?” Izaya added, leaning closer to the screen, trying to get Shizuo to look up at him.

Shizuo hadn’t realised he had been doodling on his study sheet instead of actually studying. He wasn’t an artist, by any stretch of the means, but the two crudely drawn figures holding hands did have a resemblance to himself and Izaya. 

He quickly pushed the paper underneath the others. He knew the webcam isn’t angled towards the papers, but the feeling of Izaya’s eyes on him made him itch. What if Izaya actually saw that? Why did he even draw that?! God its cheesy, like he was some daydreamer middle schooler that wrote their crush’s name all over their worksheets.

“No, not really,” Shizuo said, obviously flustered. He still refused to look at the webcam; what if Izaya saw his face now?! He could feel how hot his cheeks were!

“Why is Shizu-chan blushing?” Izaya smirked. Damned flea. He knew he’d call him out on his embarrassment. 

“It’s just the webcam, you know the quality isn’t good, and the lighting in my room is bad.” He was making up excuses, he knew it, but whatever.

“Sure,” Izaya said, rolling his eyes. “Where you going to stay at home? Or continue with a university or college? Or just get a job somewhere?”

“I don’t know Izaya!” He snaps, getting irritated. God he was so stressed he didn’t need more of this, his mother already bombarded him with questions about his future; he didn’t know what he was going to do with his life. There were so many choices, so many doors he could potentially go through, but would any open? Could he even reach the handles?

“Shizu-chan,” Izaya says, snapping him out of his thoughts and back to reality. “I’m coming back after graduation, you know that, so maybe I can help you figure something out? Where you wanting to stay with your mother? Maybe move out, get a job?” He asked, trying to be helpful. Its not like him to be so kind, not like this, usually it was a playful teasing manor, he wasn’t used to Izaya outright trying to hlep.

“I was thinking I wanted to… move out I guess.” Shizuo replied hesitantly. He wanted to, he thought it’d be best, but could he actually do it? “I’d have to find a job, and a cheap apartment, and a room mate or something…” he sighs heavily, “I don’t know Izaya. It wouldn’t be easy for me to get a job, I mean… a lot of people know about me, and know I’m some kind of monster with my strength and everything and they’d probably be afraid and-“

“I can help you.” Izaya says, cutting off Shizuo’s rambling, giving the webcam a charming grin. “I can give you tips to write your resume, I have some experience. I know what people like to hear.”

Seeing Izaya smile like that warmed the cold iciness in his chest away, replacing the nervousness with a warm fuzziness that was somewhat akin to hope.

“You… would do that for me?” He says, unable to stop himself from mimicking Izaya’s smile. He couldn’t help but feel a little relieved. 

“On one condition,” Izaya smirks as he links his fingers together and leans on his elbows, looking like some villain from a mobster movie. “You have to stop calling yourself a monster, or a beast, or any of that, okay? It’s somewhat of a misnomer, isn’t it?”

“A what?” Shizuo blinks, confused. The hell is the flea on about now? “Izaya I-“

“Don’t start, okay?” Izaya says, moving back to lean against his chair. “If you can’t do that then I suggest a different proposition?”

“Uh-“ was all he could say in reply. Why did the annoying beansprout always have to do this?

“Good!” He beams, sitting up again and moving closer to the webcam, “then here’s the deal; I’ll help you get a job, and in return you’ll be a good little employee, make money, and you come to live with me at my apartment, we split rent, and we’re room mates. What do you think of that?” 

_Room mates?_

Did he actually hear that right? Izaya wanted to be room mates?

Shizuo was speechless, truly. He couldn’t get his mouth to work, he just opened and closed it like a fish. He was also pretty sure his face was as red as a beet.

Izaya watches him silently, his excited face slowly dropping, replaced with a concerned frown. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, if it is-“

“No! No, Izaya,” Shizuo says, waving his hand, “I-I’d love to.” He can’t hold back the excited nervousness from his voice, a huge grin plastered dumbly to his face.

Izaya actually really wanted this? He wanted to live with Shizuo? He couldn’t believe it; it was too good to be true. For once in his life something was going his way! Now he actually had a plan for after graduation as well! A small giggle bubbles up from his chest, and he covers his mouth, too late to stop the giddy laugh. Izaya watches him with a curious eye, probably concerned that Shizuo had suddenly lost his mind. But no, Shizuo was happy, he was relieved; Izaya wanted this, and that meant he wanted Shizuo, honestly wanted to be around him.

“Shizu-chan seems happy,” Izaya remarks with a small grin.

“Yeah,” Shizuo says in reply, small giggles still obscuring his words. “I wasn’t sure if you actually… well, I mean, I didn’t think… I sort of hoped that, well… you know.” He couldn’t form sentences anymore, relief and now embarrassment flooding his system. God Izaya must think he’s crazy.

“Well, yeah, Shizu-chan, I was hoping you’d want to move in with me, but I wasn’t sure if you’d want to.” He looks at him through the screen, still too far from each other. Shizuo wanted him closer, he wanted to hug him, kiss him, anything, he wanted to hold him, he was too happy; he couldn’t sit still in his chair anymore, he wanted Izaya, he _craved_ him.

“I wanted you with me,” Izaya added, a sincere deepness smoothing his voice. “We were apart once; I’m not letting that happen again. You’re stuck with me.”


	15. Class

“You look so handsome! Your father would be so proud of you.”

“I know, thanks mom.” Shizuo’s mother obsessively kept fiddling with his bow tie, trying to make it even and symmetrical. She would smooth out his suit every time he so much as moved, they weren’t even in the car yet, it’ll just get wrinkled again. “Mom,” he said, trying to bat away the hand that was fixing his hair, again. “It’s fine.”

“I just want you to look your best, it is your graduation after all, you’ll remember this for years.” She stepped back a step to look him over. ”Oh, and by the way, did any of the places you sent resumes into respond yet?” 

“Not yet,” he replies, slightly frowning. He was worried; he wanted to get a job, he didn’t care what it was, just as long as it paid. He wanted to hold up his end of the bargain with Izaya, he was helping him with getting a job too after all. He still hasn’t told his mother about his plan to move out, he was worried about what she’d say. Would she be angry? Disappointed that he was leaving? She still had Kasuka, so she wasn’t alone. Maybe she’d be happy he was leaving? Would she finally be happy to get rid of her constant headache caused by him?

“Shizuo,” she said, moving the hand that was in his hair down to gently caress his cheek. “What’s wrong? Nervous?”

“Yeah, I guess… mom, can I… talk to you about something?” 

“Of course honey, you can talk to me about anything.” She smiled sweetly, ready to listen to him fully.

“I, um… I might have… found a place, after graduation… if its okay, I mean… I might move out…” he begins to mumble, losing confidence as he goes. Would he actually hurt her feelings? He peeked up at her, and her face was blank with disbelief for a brief moment, before she hugs him, tightly. Shizuo freezes, unsure how to react, unsure of what she was thinking.

“I’m so proud of you Shizuo,” she said, her voice cracking and he could instantly tell she was crying. “You’re such an amazing young man, I’m so proud of everything you’ve become.” She pulls away to look him in the eyes, her own wet from tears and gleaming from the smile warming her face. “I know it hasn’t been easy, but you’ve tried so hard, and you’ve done it. You’re graduating, and you’re trying to get a job and you’re moving out. You’re growing up, and I’m just so proud of you Shizuo.” She covered her mouth again, hiding her smile as more tears cloud her eyes.

“Mom,” Shizuo says softly, starting to feel his own tears stinging his eyes. He was so lucky to have her, he loved her so much, and he never told her how much he appreciated everything. “Thank you,” he steps forward and hugs her. It was a little weird now, he’s grown so much; he was a couple inches taller than her, it was so strange to be taller now, when he’s always looked up to her. “I love you.”

“I love you too, my little hero,” she says, her face buried in his shoulder.

He was so lucky.

* * *

The ceremony went by in a blur. He remembered being on stage, so many other kids around him, all in matching outfits that were too hot, those weird little square hats that were way too itchy. The room was too humid, but too cold at the same time; or maybe that was just him. He was way too nervous.

Student after student went up, each stiff as they walked. Their names were called, “this person hopes to go on to do something successful with their life,” they were given certificates, sometimes friends in the audience would cheer, call the name of the graduate, holler, he even heard a blow horn once. The graduates would shake the hands of the principals, take pictures, then leave. Just another student of a couple hundred.

Shizuo was dreading his name being called. What if they forgot to call his name? What if he forgot to get his certificate and just walked off the stage? What if his palm was sweaty when he shook hands? All the worst case scenarios ran through his head as he nervously bounced in his seat, his hands balled into fists in his gown. What if he tripped walking across the stage?

He almost didn’t hear when his name was called. Snapped out of his thoughts, he awkwardly shuffled onto the stage, his gait stiff as he tried not to walk like that old video of bigfoot. Everything was blocked out then, he didn’t hear anything; not the clapping, or the lie he wrote down for them to say “Shizuo wishes to go on to do something with his life.” It was all just a haze. He focused on walking to the people waiting for him, nothing else.

But something broke through the drowning haze he didn’t expect to hear, and it nearly made him trip over himself.

“Way to go Shizu-chan! Good job!”

It was lost in the crowd, a voice somewhere amongst the hundreds of parents, grandparents, siblings. But it was unmistakable.

_Shizu-chan._ Only one person used that nickname.

Izaya came to the ceremony.

He was here in the crowd, and he was cheering him on. 

He nearly lost his focus, no longer paying attention to the people shaking his hand, or his feet carrying him across the stage. All his brain was focusing on was the sounds of Izaya’s voice echoing around in his skull. It replayed itself, over and over, _”way to go Shizu-chan.”_ Izaya was proud of him, Izaya was here for him, here for this big moment in his life. Izaya was _here._ He was in town, he was probably moving to his place, _their_ place. They were going to live together, he wouldn’t have to be away from Izaya any longer. Izaya wouldn’t be in another town, he wouldn’t be across a computer screen at a different desk in a different home. They’d be under the same roof, together.

He was nearly bouncing with excitement once he got back into his seat. He fought the urge to let a happy giggle bubble up from his chest. It might just be the nervousness of graduating getting to him and making him fidgety, but he couldn’t wait for the ceremony to be finished now. He wanted see his mom, see how proud she was, and Kasuka too, but he wanted to find Izaya as well. Somewhere in the big crowd of onlookers Izaya was watching him. He came here just for him.

God he was just so giddy!

Izaya always had this special talent for making him completely loose himself. He was always different when with Izaya; maybe it was because he was happy? He really did make him happy. Normally he felt so heavy, like his body was filled with solid cement, but around Izaya he felt light weight, like he could float. Wasn’t that what love felt like? He was positive he was in love, no doubt about it.

He couldn’t sit still. It was either the nervousness of having gone on stage still coursing through his veins, the mind numbing boredom of waiting now that his name _was_ called, or just the excitement of finding Izaya, he just didn’t want to wait any longer. 

He ended up having to wait hours however. 

The certificate in his restless hand got annoying to hold, his legs were getting sore and his back stiff; there were so many students to go through. He was becoming drowsy, and he zoned out for a while, the other student’s names becoming a blur as he drowned them out; he didn’t have many friends graduating with him, except Shinra. He wasn’t even that close with his swim team, but he heard the voices of his teammates cheer on the others, not himself however. That was okay though, he didn’t mind, Izaya cheered him on, that’s all he needed.

He was so lost in his own boredom and his own thoughts he almost didn’t hear the closing statements from the valedictorian. He still didn’t really listen, he just waited for them to be finished so they could all leave, he was pretty sure everyone else wanted to leave as well. The ceremony had taken hours, they were all ready to leave and find their families, Shizuo was ready to find Izaya.

Once they were dismissed, the graduates left the stage in an orderly line, row by row. Shizuo awkwardly shuffled along the line, not really paying attention to the people he was bumping into as he scanned the crowd. Honestly, everyone was doing the same, trying to find their families. Shizuo had found his family in the crowd before he got his certificate, almost instantly once he sat in his seat. He still hadn’t found Izaya though, and he heart began to race. Izaya wouldn’t have left already, would he?

Once he got to the point they could leave to find their families, Shizuo instantly bolted. He tried to push through the crowds, carefully making his way to the aisle he believed his mother would be, he knew she would have found him, and kept track of him as he left the stage, he hoped Izaya would do the same, since it was impossible to find anyone in this confusing crowd.

As he expected, his mother found him quite easily. Kasuka was standing beside her as she was waving frantically, trying to get Shizuo’s attention. He awkwardly weaved through the barrier of people and made his way over. “Hey, mom, I- oof!” The words were knocked out of him as she instantly trapped him in a bear hug.

“I’m so proud of you Shizuo!” He said, more like bawled. Shizuo laughed embarrassed and pet her head gently, trying to calm her happy tears, but they didn’t stop.

“Thank you,” he said, instead just accepted his fate and letting his mother cry over him for a while.

“Congratulations,” Kasuka said, a small rare smile tugging at his lips, letting Shizuo know he was proud of him. Honestly the small gesture meant more to Shizuo than the words, that coupled with the fact his mother was in tears, make him feel his own waterworks begin to cloud his vision. 

Even though the past couple of years have been difficult, for all of them, he still had his family. They loved him, despite everything, and they were there for him. He was so lucky. “I love you guys, thank you,” he said, hugging his mother back tighter.

They pulled away from each other only when they were both composed enough. His mother’s eyes were red, and her smile bright, and he was pretty sure his face matched hers. “I’m so proud of you,” she said again, repeating her earlier praise. “Someone else is to,” she then added with a small giggle. “’Shizu-chan’?”

“O-oh,” he mumbled, his face lighting up from embarrassment. “That was a… friend…”

“Someone from your swim team?” His mother asked, genuinely interested.

“Um, it was-“

“That would have been me,” came the clear and cool voice; a voice Shizuo instantly recognised. 

His heart skipped almost painfully in his chest as he quickly turned around to face the direction of the voice. It fluttered again once he actually _saw_ him. God, did he ever feel alive. He didn’t bother to stop himself, he didn’t care that his mother and brother were right there, his feet automatically carried him to where his mind and heart yearned. In a couple quick strides, he basically ran to Izaya and traps him in a tight embrace.

“You came?” Shizuo said, hunching over the smaller teen as he held him close to his chest.

“Of course Shizu-chan,” Izaya whispered back, subtly nuzzling against Shizuo’s chest. For a moment they stayed like that, blocking out the world around them until it was just them. Their warmth, their embrace, their breaths in sync with one another. 

Realising his family was still there, however, Shizuo pulled away before the hug got too suspiciously long.

His mother still didn’t know about them, whatever “they” were. He wanted to tell her, but the thought of actually confessing that he was into a guy made him a little dizzy. Not today, today was too busy and hectic. He could at least introduce the man he just hugged in front of his family at least.

His mother was watching them, he could tell she was interested in them, trying to figure out in her head their relationship. Shizuo was never really close to his friends, definitely not close enough to hug them when he saw them, it was probably confusing for her to see him so affectionate. Crap, hopefully he didn’t actually just blow his cover.

“Mom,” he said as he came back over to her and Kasuka. “This is Izaya Orihara, um,” he paused a moment to look at Izaya, who stood a step behind him, “he’s actually… the one I might move in with.”

He notices the slight change of expression in Kasuka; right, he would have known him in school as well, Shizuo always complained to him about Izaya. His mother, however, absolutely lit up with glee. 

“So this is the room mate then?” She beamed, “I’m so glad Shizuo has a friend like you. I was so proud to hear he was moving out, he’s become such an amazing young man.”

“Mom,” Shizuo rolls his eyes, faint pink dusting his cheeks. She always liked to praise him in front of people; _he’s such a good swimmer you should see him! He’s so brave, my little hero._

“Oh I know!” His mother suddenly exclaimed, “would your friend like to join us for dinner?”

Right, they were going out for dinner to celebrate his graduation. It was supposed to be a family thing, but his mother suggested Izaya join them? He turned to glance at Izaya, who had on a charming smirk, and something fluttered inside him. One; _oh god that smile._ Two; his mother wanted Izaya to join them? She just met him, yet she’s inviting him to supper. She must realise how much Izaya meant to him, even if she didn’t know what extent. He was a friend, and Shizuo didn’t have a lot of those, of course she’d be happy to invite him.

“I’d be pleased to,” comes Izaya’s response, giving her a polite smile. “I’d love to get to know Shizu-chan’s family.” Even when he was trying to make a good impression on his family he wouldn’t let Shizuo have a break from that nickname. Not that it was particularly annoying anymore, it became almost like a pet name, like “sweetheart” for other couples.

It made him happy though, that Izaya wanted to meet his family and get to know them, especially since he hoped they’d be together for a long time.

Graduation hadn’t been as scary as he imagined. Now that it was all over he was excited to start the next chapter of his life. His life that included his family, but also Izaya. A life he was content with, and that he believed he would be happy with. 

He couldn’t wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a few notes  
> 1) I honestly don't know how Japanese graduations go, so I threw a lot of person experience into this. Yeah, I remember not hearing anything that they announced, I don't remember them calling my name, or saying what I received, but my friends did yell my name, and it was surprising because I didn't know they were there.  
> 2) HOLY CRAP ITS BEEN A WHILE. I'm so sorry his update took so long, I sort of got stuck on it. Also, school as started again, that plus work equals no time for self indulgent writing. I promise I haven't given up on this, and I will try to update more regularly.  
> 3) I don't know what's up with Shizuo's father so?  
> 4) I'm sorry for not updating in forever.


	16. Home

The dinner had went surprisingly well.

Izaya—whether being polite in order to win Shizuo’s mother’s approval, or just genuinely being a good guy—had managed to make a good impression on his mother. Not that that was rather hard to do. She seemed to like him though, he made her laugh, and it seemed like she approved of him. That's good, he didn't feel as guilty about moving in with him, now that she had actually met his future roommate. He should have introduced them sooner. Dinner went smoothly, no worries with his mother. It went almost perfectly.

Almost.

Nothing had happened to ruin dinner or anything, but Kasuka, however, was not as easily as impressed as their mother. 

See, Shizuo had forgotten at the time, but Kasuka and Izaya had met before. Well, maybe not formally met, but Kasuka knew exactly who Izaya was. Shizuo had complained to his brother about _”the flea”_ on many occasions. Kasuka knew how Izaya pestered him, he knew how they squabbled, how they were enemies in middle school. Yet here they were, together. Kasuka didn't know they were _together_ together, but enemies suddenly moving in with each other must raise some questions.

Kasuka hadn't mentioned it, and he hasn't since then either.

It has been a couple weeks since graduation, and Shizuo had moved most of his things to his and Izaya’s apartment. It had been a gradual change, for Shizuo wanted to make sure he had a job until he fully moved in. Oh right, good news; he managed to find a part time job, and he would start next week. It was nothing spectacular; just a busboy at a restaurant nearby. But they said maybe eventually he could work the bar, maybe serve drinks as a bartender if he gets the training, which Shizuo liked the idea of. But, today would be the last night he stayed in his old home with Kasuka and his mother, who, of course, had been in tears pretty much all evening.

“I'm so proud of you,” she kept cooing, “so grown up.”

Shizuo would rolls his eyes, and say something about her being a softy, though in truth he was close to tears himself. He'd miss her and Kasuka, even if they were in the same town, and only a couple minutes away, it still felt weird just leaving. It felt so grown up, so adult and official, like he was actually starting his life now.

It was horrorfying.

His mother cooked his favourite meal that night. It was a sort of small celebration, and his mother wanted to spoil him one more time. God she was acting as if he was dying and this was his ‘last supper.’

“Mom.” She was starting to ramble in that adorable way when she was overthinking things. “I'm not gone forever, I'll come visit, probably a lot.” 

“Ah,” she stopped talking about whatever she was chattering about. “I know,” she smiled warmly, “I just want to treat my boy to a good home cooked meal. When I first moved out it was hard to find food for dinners, I never had the time or money for cooking. If you ever need I can help you with money Shizuo. Oh! You should come for supper here some nights! I'd love to cook for you sweetheart.”

Shizuo lightly laughed. She was rambling again.

“We’ll come visit sometime.” He said. Having Izaya over to his home? It sounded fun to him, if Izaya agreed. It wouldn't happen right away, not until they settled into their new home.

“That sounds like a deal, honey.” she smiled sweetly.

God Shizuo would miss her.

* * *

That evening, Shizuo took his time getting ready for the night. It was strange, but he wanted to remember all the mundane things; the mirror he stood in front of in the bathroom while he brushed his teeth, the way the knob squeaked when he turned on the hot water of the tub. The view outside his bedroom window. He wouldn’t get to see any of it for a while now. His room was pretty bare, not much left from the move. His bed, a dresser, a couple items of clothing, some keep sakes he decided to leave here; these were all that remained. It was odd facing the emptiness, it solidified the feeling that he was leaving.

“You’ll have to come visit.”

A sudden voice made Shizuo jump. He turned around, and Kasuka was standing in the doorway. He was always so quiet, he didn’t even hear him approach.

Shizuo smiled. “I will, of course.” He turned to his brother, who entered his room. Shizuo raised one eyebrow, a little confused. Kasuka never really entered his room, at least not without permission. Not that he really minded, they were family, but it was just out of the ordinary.

“You trust Izaya?” Kasuka said, looking at Shizuo with that all too serious tone.

Shizuo was slightly taken aback. Huh, trust him? “Of course,” he frowned. This was sudden. He got a little defensive, he loved Izaya, of course he trusted him.

Kasuka didn’t waver, his expression remained blank. “Because in school you two did not get along very well.” 

Oh.

He was just worried about Shizuo. After all Kasuka had been there for all of that, he was the one Shizuo always went to to complain and rant angrily about Izaya. All that Kasuka knew of Izaya was from the little frustrated kid that pushed the flea into a pool. “It’s different now,” he assured him, dismissing his brother’s concerns with a small wave of his hand.

He sat down stiffly on the edge of his bed, a little too self aware of his movements. 

“Different?” Kasuka sat beside him, after Shizuo had patted the bed in an invitation. “How so?”

Shizuo stayed quiet for a moment, debating with himself whether he should tell him or not. He sighed; sooner or later he would need to tell his family about himself and Izaya. Soon. Maybe tomorrow. As he was leaving? That's kind of last minute. _‘Hey by the way I'm moving in with my friend who may or may not actually be my boyfriend, but!’_

“We're friends now.” He chickened out. God it was nerve wracking. He was sure his family would be supportive, they always were, so why was he so afraid?

“You were enemies before,” Kasuka replied.

Shizuo frowned. “We were, but not now.” _Strangely, now, I love him._

Kasuka stayed silent as he searched Shizuo’s face. He always had this special talent for knowing exactly how his brother felt. He was one of the few who understood him the best, after all. “If you like him, then perhaps I can give him another chance.” He stood up, and turned to Shizuo, “I can tell he means a lot to you.”

Shizuo felt his face heat up. He rubbed the back of his neck as he nervously laughed. “Yeah,” Izaya actually did mean a lot, “thank you Kasuka.”

He was just looking out for him, he wanted to protect his brother, even if he was the younger one. Shizuo should be protecting Kasuka, though he knew he could handle himself. Their dad would be proud of Kasuka as well. “Hey,” he stood up, “take care of mom okay?” He wrapped his arms around him, and hugged his brother close. To his surprise, after a second, Kasuka returned it.

“Take care of yourself.” Kasuka was all too aware that Shizuo’s self preservation was somewhat lacking. Shizuo had too much faith in his strength. He wasn’t superman though, they both knew that.

“I will.” A content silence passed over them, enveloping the room in a calming warmth.

This was his last night here, and even though he wasn’t technically moving that far away, it was still difficult accepting their separation. His family is all he had known, for so many years, he had never left them. He knew this was the next chapter in his life, all children ‘left the nest’ eventually; that didn’t make it any less terrifying. Kasuka leaving him alone in his room only deepened the feeling. His room felt empty, devoid of something essential that made it feel like home. He supposed this would always still be his home, but he had another home now too. A home away from home; a life with Izaya.

He was ecstatic about it, but he was still so terrified, and he wasn’t sure if that feeling would ever go away.

It didn’t go away the next morning when his stomach was still fluttering, his palms sweaty, and his heart racing.

It didn’t go away as he packed up the rest of his belongings, and got in the car with his mother. Even as she drove, chattering away like she usually did. He knew she was trying her best to be strong, trying no not cry as they unpacked his boxes, and as they hugged and said their goodbyes.

They’d see each other again, of course they would. But when? Probably within a couple days, but it still felt odd. He felt numb; it all went by so fast.

Standing on the steps of his new apartment, Shizuo watched as his mother’s car drove away into the distance, until it was obscured by other cars, and eventually turned down a street.

A gentle hand laced between his fingers, and a comforting body stepped closer to him. They bumped shoulders, and Izaya squeezed Shizuo’s hand.

_Izaya was here for him._ It was an unspoken promise.

He suddenly felt less empty than before; like Izaya filled the hollowness he had been feeling the past couple of days.

He was home again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *awkward cough* well... I did manage to update finally.
> 
> I'm sorry this took so long; I was in sort of a weird head space? and I sort of had writer's block. I wasn't really sure how to write him moving... but... here? (~)
> 
> I'm thinking there will be either one or two chapters left after this. I think now that I'm past this I will actually get back on track for updating.
> 
> Thank you for your patience, and please forgive me /) . /)


	17. Mot Juste

As the weeks went on, they had to relearn each other all over again.

Both of them were usually private people, so adjusting to living with another person in such close proximity was rather tiring. They argued at lot at first, of course they would, but over small things. Who did dishes that night, what they should watch on tv, what groceries they bought, which way they put the toilet paper on the roll. The couple times they fought Shizuo was worried it was the end, he was afraid Izaya would hate him, but it never was. Izaya always came back.

They had separate bedrooms, and they kept their things separate in their own room, they did their routine there or in the bathroom. But even if they argued that day, almost every night Izaya would sneak into Shizuo’s bed, and cuddle up under the blankets, sapping the warmth from his strong room mate.

Shizuo loved it. All of it.

Of course they argued, it's just who they were, but they always came back to each other. Living together was something new, and they were merely learning what it was like to share a life with someone. The first few weeks were rough, and Shizuo missing his family didn't help his mood much, but soon they both settled within a routine.

They would easily dance around each other in the kitchen, hands running along shoulders as they brushed past each other in a comfortable silence. The morning glow of the lazy sun bathing them in soft light as Izaya made his tea, and Shizuo attempted to cook breakfast. Izaya wouldn't normally eat in the morning, but Shizuo’s pancakes were divine; he couldn't say no to the big doof who gave sad puppy dog eyes and complained about ‘how much work he put into them.’ 

With all the small disagreements finally settled, they had found their peace. Shizuo truly felt at home.

He had begun his job at the restaurant. Again, it was a somewhat rough start, but he soon got the hang of it. Having extra money was advantageous, especially since he liked to buy Izaya little ‘housewarming’ gifts. Izaya’s favourite present Shizuo had found him was a mug that was overly cliche, with cheesy little hearts as decorations.

“It is so like Shizu-chan,” Izaya had said when Shizuo gave him the gift, “cute.” He would never admit it, but it warmed his heart.

So, all in all, it was all they had hoped for, and more. Things were going okay.

For the most part. 

Days were often spent with Shizuo working evenings, but spending every minute he could with Izaya. They stayed together in the mornings, lounging at home, unless they had errands to run. When Shizuo worked, Izaya stayed at home doing his research on his laptop, or he was out on the town watching humans in their natural habitat. This happened almost every day, it had become the norm.

On one particular day, Izaya had been sitting on the couch with his laptop, curled up in a fuzzy blanket, with a hot cup of tea in his hand. He heard the muffled curses and banging before anything else.

He set his mug down, and got up. He could hear Shizuo fumbling to open the door, obviously worked up over something. As Izaya came to the door to open it for his companion, Shizuo came bursting in, almost literally. The door swung on its hinges, and hammered into the wall as Shizuo stormed in. “God dammit!” He yelled, as he forcefully slammed the door. “Dammit, dammit, dammit!” He repeated this mantra over and over as he paced a tight circle, his hands tugging at his hair and his shirt, anything he could grip that would prevent punches from flying.

He came home early. Work must have not gone well.

Obviously.

“Hey,” Izaya said, in a soothing voice. Shizuo didn't react, he was mumbling curses under his breath, seemingly not even having noticed yet that Izaya was there. “Hey, Shizu-chan,” Izaya said again, gently, “Shizuo.”

Shizuo finally looked up at the sound of his real name, and blinked a couple times, having just realised he wasn't alone. He looked flustered, having been caught having a ‘temper tantrum’ as he called them. He was so angry; his blood boiled hot liquid through his veins, working him up and making every muscle ache for action. “Sorry,” was all he offered to his room mate. Something was very obviously upsetting him; any idiot could see that. Thankfully, he had calmed down at the sight of Izaya, at least a little bit.

“You okay?” Izaya asked, as he cautiously approached him. Very clearly, he was not, but hopefully the gentle prod would urge him to talk.

A couple annoyed huffs escaped the blond, and he shifted from foot to foot. “No.” He grumbled to himself for a while, before sighing heavily. “At… at work…. I got angry.”

Oh. So that was it. 

It took a couple more frustrated exhales of air before Shizuo continued. “I… may have br-…” he cringed, “broke a table.” He sheepishly dropped his head, and then raised his arms and pulled up his sleeves to show the neatly wrapped bandages covering his arms and hands. “Splinters, glass… the usual.” He shrugged, as if it was no big deal.

Izaya gently took Shizuo’s hand, and tugged on his arm, pulling him closer towards him. Blood was soaking through the bandages. These wounds most likely were bandaged at work, but fresh blood would have seeped through on the walk home. “We should change the bandages.” He tugged once more, and held onto his hand as he leads him into the bathroom. He directed Shizuo to sit on the edge of the bathtub, as Izaya bent down underneath the sink to find the first aid kit. They kept it well stocked, for they knew both of them often got into small fights, or things like this happened. Grabbing the awkwardly bulky box, Izaya stood up again. He opened the box and grabbed the bandages and disinfectants, then took Shizuo’s offered arm again. 

The bandages weren't too soiled, so obviously, the wounds weren't too bad. As he unwrapped his arm, small cuts running past his wrist poked out between the fabric. “Nothing will hurt you that easily,” he mused to his quiet patient, “you sure taught that nasty table a lesson.” He discarded the used bandages, and grabbed the disinfectant. 

“I’m a monster.”

The sudden whisper caught Izaya by surprise, and he looked up at Shizuo. The blond’s head was still down as he examined the wounds on his arms.

“What gave you that idea?” Izaya replied nonchalantly, trying not to make this a bigger deal than it always was, for Shizuo’s sake.

Shizuo merely shrugged, refusing to meet his personal doctor’s eyes. He was going to a dark place; that black and oozing carnival that was self hated. He held such a low opinion of himself, all he could see was destruction and pain, seeping a large radius around him. “I get angry, I destroy,” came the short response, “why… why would you put up with a monster like me?”

What a ridiculous question. In Izaya’s mind the answer was obvious; that curious little thing humans called love. But Izaya always found admittance hard. “You're mine,” he settled with, “I'm not letting you go.” Gentle hands travelled up strong muscles, brushing the crook of Shizuo’s neck, before caressing his cheek. Shizuo’s eyes held such suppressed sorrow, that it threatened to leak out in horrid tears. He could see that he was about to break.

“Your monster.” Shizuo’s voice broke, giving away the emotion he tried so hard to push down. “Pathetic”

Wrong.

“‘Monster’ is a misnomer, don't you think?” Izaya said, as he leaned forward, and placed his forehead against his companion’s. It was a gesture he did rarely, so when he did, it held the impact it meant to. It seemed to do the trick, as it finally made Shizuo look him in the eyes. 

Shizuo searched his face, seemingly confused by the word choice. “What does that even mean?” He sounded like a lost child; confused and begging for answers. “You used that word once before, what is it?”

“It means a rather unfitting name.” Izaya gave a soft laugh. He was so clueless and cute. “You are not a monster; that designation does not fit you.”

Shizuo only pouted, not really accepting of the answer. “What would you call me then? Beast? Creature? Demon?” His words were like daggers, but directed at himself. Plunging deep within his heart so that no one would touch what he deemed a destructive force of nature. That's all he could see; he was blinded.

Izaya saw beyond that.

“‘Boyfriend,’ I think, is a rather fitting title.”

There was a pause, as the gears worked in Shizuo’s head in an attempt to process the information. 

Izaya gave a sly smile, sliding his hand into those soft golden locks, before kissing him. It was gentle, loving, oddly perfect for being wounded and sitting in a bathroom. It took a moment before Shizuo’s eyes fluttered closer, and he finally seemed to relax. 

They had never labeled it as that word before. It was so official. So final. They were something,

“You are not a monster.” Izaya took his companion’s hands, and gently kissed the knuckles. So scarred and rough. They were beautiful. It was just part of what made Shizuo wonderful.

Shizuo refused to see that however. “How could you say that?” He dropped his gaze away from the darker haired man. 

With a light-hearted sigh, Izaya grabbed Shizuo’s chin, and tilted it up to look him in the eyes. “A monster would not put themselves in danger to save someone they loved.” His other hand traced along the dotted crescent scar on his forearm. The dog bite from so many years ago; from when Shizuo used his strength for good, and saved Izaya. “Whether it was love at the time or not. You still saved me.” Truly.

The blond at some point had taken Izaya’s hand, and was now squeezing lightly. An attempt to ground himself; he did this often. Izaya had began to notice these little quirks; the little things Shizuo did to either comfort himself, or calm himself down. “You’re weird,” Shizuo said, with a half-hearted pout. 

“I know.” Izaya replied, taking Shizuo’s arm again. He cleaned the wounds, and wrapped those strong muscles with fresh bandages, before sitting back slightly to admire his work. Admire his boyfriend. Yes, he was dead set on using that title now. He wanted to make that sad expression on Shizuo’s face disappear. He knew he couldn’t just kiss away the pain, he couldn’t love away mental sets, especially not something like this. But he could at least try. Bit by bit, he could show him every day how much he meant to him, maybe eventually he would believe it. Maybe some day Shizuo would believe that he is not just a ball of destructive carnage; there were people who loved him, and wanted to be close. 

Shizuo did mean everything to him.

“I love you.” Izaya said, before he had the chance to second guess his words.

This seemed to freeze up Shizuo, who looked at him dumbfounded. “Wha-” he stumbled over his words, seemingly confused with the sudden confession. “Is… is that another misnomer?” 

Izaya snorted, and rolled his eyes. “No. It’s the truth Shizu-chan.” He wanted him to know how important he was. Even if it wasn’t some miracle cure to Shizuo’s self loathing, he still wanted him to know. “I love you.” He said it again, with more firmness this time. It was the reality, and nothing would change that. “I’ve left my mark on you,” he traced his fingers over the scars on Shizuo’s arms. The ones that proved he was not a monster. That his strength could be used for good. “You’ve left your mark on me.” He pulled on his hand, bringing it up to his own chest, over his heart. It was all so cheesy, but sometimes things like this were needed, sometimes cliche things were just that for a good reason. The term monster might not be fitting for Shizuo, but the word ‘love’ was a perfect fit. 

He watched as the blood rushed to his companion’s face, painting his cheeks in a cute pink blush. “Shut up, flea,” he said, a small pout on his lips as he looked away.

“Make me,” Izaya taunted, his voice a hushed whisper.

He did.

Shizuo leaned in first this time, capturing Izaya’s lips with his own.

Things were not always perfect, but it was close. So close. He could almost taste it.

Perfection was right here in front of him; Shizuo was all he needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg finally D: I am so sorry for such a long wait. Things lately have just been rough, it was hard to find the energy or motivation to write... I really hope it is worth the wait *nervous laughter*
> 
> [bonus](http://demon-of-ikebukuro.tumblr.com/post/150140405093/before-the-beginning)


End file.
